As some of you know I was trained long ago to be a teacher. I also had many freaking amazing mentors along the way who taught me some of the truths behind it all.
I have also had a lot of varied life experience and have been on the wrong side of bad teaching methods. To this day I still haven’t forgotten how it felt to have been screamed at, had my book thrown across the room because I didn’t finish all my math homework. I tried…if the teacher had looked a little closer he would have seen all the eraser marks and worn page as I tried and tried. I honestly didn’t understand it. But, he was so frustrated with someone else that he exploded. As a shy little girl I was terrified and never asked for help again that year..and years after.
Scary what we adults can do isn’t it?
This summer I have some fun working again as a teacher with students visiting from Korea. My job is to help them acclimate and understand how the schools work here. I heard the other two teachers (ones who work normally in the school year) talking about different punishments for varying crimes. I listened and at first I was glad to hear they didn’t like punishments that made the children humiliated. Things like a shame jar, having to sing in front of the class…etc.
Then they continued to talk about how to properly punish kids.
Something felt off…and then I realized, not once did I hear how to properly praise kids, motivate them or catch them being good to reinforce behaviours we like.
Know what? Negative reinforcement doesn’t work as well as you might think and there is a huge HUGE difference between a consequence and a punishment.
As adults we hear a voice in our head and I know full well that most of us hear a really negative one. Where do you think that comes from? I hear parents and other adults talking to their kids in a such a way that if a perfect stranger did the same we’d freak out.
Who do you think has the most impact?
Yes, we need to teach children about boundaries and social morales, but you know what? It doesnt’ have to be looked at as a punish them when they screw up. It can be looked at as showing them what to do and telling them when they get it right. We also need to teach them about loving life, loving themselves and being kind to others.
No more excuses. You know how it feels as well as I do to be trod upon. As a Mindset Coach I urge you to stop talking to yourself without compassion and let’s teach our children to have a compassionate inner voice as well.
Compassion isn’t just for those who are broken…it’s also for those we don’t want to break.
You with me?