Archive for June, 2011

After talking about the importance of understanding and working from personal core values a lovely gentleman stopped me to ask a couple of questions. At one point he mentioned he had never met an expert on core values before.

Surprised I explained I was no expert.

He pointed out that I sure seemed like one seeing as I wrote a book on the subject, gave workshops and coached around this.

I appreciated his compliment but I still have to say I’m no expert.


In my mind an expert knows pretty much all there is to know on a topic and has little left to learn.

I learn every time I have a workshop from the discussions and aha moments.

I learn every time I assist a client to explore, pinpoint and begin to create a life they love from value centered living. I learn from the many articles both for and against value based living.

I think the word expert is oft over used and too often a marketing ploy. I have had a business coach tell me recently point blank, I need to be an expert in something. Really? Hmmm. Just like that?

That just feels wrong to me. Core values are personal and I certainly cannot be the expert on yours for you now can I? Do I have to be am expert to coach you on this?

I reject that notion. Instead I consider myself an advocate of value based living. A support and guide for my clients as they become experts on the only life they can… their own.

What do you think about all these experts?


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I’ve been thinking. And reading, and chatting and oh do I have a lot to say.

It is possible, no better make that probable, that I have been graced with the label of opinionated at times. I’m more than okay with that because it means I’m thinking and it means I’m making someone else think too.

Gotta love a win/win huh?

However I am writing this blog for my readers. So, I’m checking in with all of you. Are you liking what you see?

Please evaluate and share what you think of My Rivendell’s blog.

What do you like? Dislike? Want more of? Less of? Or just wish I’d talk about?

Pretty Please? I’m counting on you to let me know so that I can make this blog even better for you.

Im looking forward to all you have to say! Oh and thanks a bunch for wandering over to read and comment, share posts and just being fabulous. I really appreciate you for all of that wonderfulness!!

Okay going to sit over there —> and wait til you share. (hurry okay? patience has never been one of my best virtues!!)

Til later; keep on being fabulous!

Hugs, Bonnie

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I picked up an article the other day that talked about that fabulous book 7 Habits of Highly Successful People. I’m a big fan of what that book has to offer. I think it truly ought to but a must-read in schools.

The article was well written and summarized the 7 habits well. It got me to thinking once again. In case you don’t know here is the list.

1. Be proactive
2. Begin with the end in mind
3. Put first things first
4. Think win-win
5. Seek first to understand, then to be understood
6. Synergize
7. Sharpen the Saw

Truly these habits also translate well into discussions about how to create your most fabulous life. Still, I seem to always get the feeling that something was missing.

As I was out enjoying a sunny walk with my dog I was still mulling over what I’d read. It finally struck me that there IS an eighth habit.

Forgive Quickly

This is a habit many of us need to practice. It does us no possible good to hold onto anger, pain and offense. In fact, many would argue that it damages us both emotionally and physically.

Forgive quickly. This doesn’t mean you have to forget. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take steps to remove or fix a problem. It means letting go of your emotional response so you can move on rather than clinging to it like a sinking ship.

There may be times when there is nothing left that can be done to move on but forgive. Sometimes there is nothing left to fix or that can be changed.

Create a ritual, say it out loud but take time to deliberately focus and do this. Forgiveness is a gift that needs to be given as much for the giver as the receiver.

I need to be really clear here too. This most certainly includes forgiving yourself. We’ve all done stupid things, made mistakes, opened our mouths when we should have kept them shut…we also need to forgive ourselves.

Asking for forgiveness from those we’ve wronged is important however sometimes that isn’t possible. It is possible to forgive ourselves so that we can move past whatever happened.

It’s important to know that the beautiful life we want is waiting on the other side of forgiveness.

So what do you think?

Is Forgive Quickly the eighth habit?

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Self Esteem is often used interchangeably is Self Worth.

These are not the same things, although they are very closely related.

Self Worth is our perception of our abilities, competencies and power. It is what we think we are worth and often what we think others consider to be our worth. It’s what we believe our usefulness and abilities are. It tells us where our limits lie.

Our Self Esteem comes from our Self Worth. Our Self Esteem is the judgments we put upon ourselves dictated by our self-worth. It governs our reactions, behaviors and interactions with others.

If you want to change your Self Esteem you need to change your perception of your Self Worth.

What do you think?

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Life sometimes happens to us,. This is totally true.  Most of the time however, we create the life that we are living today.

We have to understand that we all have affirmations we use everyday. Some good some negative. These thoughts that run though our heads form a sort of lens that we view the world through.  This affects our self-esteem, our ideas and how we end up reacting during those times life throws us curve balls.
There is some really good news! We can choose which we listen too and thus choose our view!
Change the lens you view the world through and you change what you see and surround yourself with.  Thus, changing and creating your world!
Rose-colored lens?  Here I come!  How about you?

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