I’m not actually talking about picking up your dirty socks or putting away your toys-although to be clear that is good too.
I’m talking about being responsible for the messes in your life. Our society is really fond of playing the blame game, making excuses and justifying our own inaction. Taking charge also means taking responsibility. No we are not at fault for everything that happens; nope we didn’t cause all the crap BUT we are responsible for what we do with it. I am guilty of this too at times, so I was truly inspired and impressed when I met this incredible lady not that long ago. I must protect her privacy so I won’t be naming her, but I can tell you this lovely girl had a lot (and I mean a LOT) of crap happen to her. Yes..TO her. Other then being in the wrong spot at the wrong time a great deal of the big bad was in no way her fault. I’m sure you are wondering how this connects but I promise I’m getting there.
My friend has every right to wallow, be bitter, be angry and at times these emotions do creep in, but for the most part she keeps amazing me with her resilience. She is super kind, generous, thoughtful and fun to be around. I often have to remind myself that this woman has to try to be upbeat some days. That life dealt her a really crappy hand one day and she still is making the best of it.
What is it that she is doing that is so perfectly awesome? She is cleaning up her own mess. She takes responsibility for her day-to-day life as her own; her healing, her happiness is HER job. She isn’t waiting around for anyone else to show up to ‘fix’ it for her, or wallow in the blame and excuses even though I’m guessing there are days she might like to just let it go that way. She realized somewhere along the way that her life is her own and it is up to her, and her alone, to keep it from getting messier.
I personally find her inspiring. I promised myself that this weekend I would spend time to look at my own messes and how I can take what is mine from them, own them and make a plan to make it better. No more excuses, no more why can’ t the butler do it? (ok, it’s an imaginary butler but still), and it’s not my fault/job/mess so why do I have to clean it up.
Life is a fickle thing. It can give you great opportunities to move forward with ease or it can smack you hard so you learn an important lesson. I’ve yet to hear of it just simply sending a nice card with the lesson in it although that might be nice. It can be hard to remember that good stuff when you are getting those tough deals. Remember that resilience comes from having bad things knock you down but getting back up each time. This is what builds your resilience and makes it easier to get up again the next time.
So, have fun and how about we start to clean up our own mess?