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Archive for July, 2010

This is an idea that has been around for a very long time. Simply put you attract that which you most think, talk about and surround yourself with.
 
Some believe that as we are made of energy, so are our thoughts (or brain waves).
When you concern yourself with worrying about negative things you actually are attracting more negatives into your life.
I suppose then we must assume that the opposite must be true.  If you focus on the good and positive things in your life you will attract more of these same good and positive things.
 
Can this always be true? Of course the idea of this being so simple begs the question of why bad things happen to good people right?
 
The Law of Attraction like many other things is not a hard fast rule, but a way of thinking about how you can progress through life. Of course there are other influences; even a strong magnet can be made to let go of the metal its stuck to. So the law of attraction cannot overcome all other things in the universe.
 
Sometimes known as the power of positive thinking, I’ve seen this Law of Attraction work.
 
Shifting your thinking, having faith in yourself…it all makes a difference in how your life will play out.
In my teaching practice I’ve often seen something teachers call a ‘self-fulfilling-prophecy’.  It’s the same principle. If you tell a child he is smart, capable and wonderful and give them faith in that, they will show you they are. Will they make mistakes, have tantrums and occasionally do crazy things? Of course..they are kids after all! But it won’t be their normal behaviour and they can have remorse. Sadly the inverse is too often what we really see.
 
How does it work?
 
Talk about your desires, blessing and joys. Open up and put them out there. Talk like it’s already a given. Be excited and eager for the things you are going after in life. There is joy in simply experiencing the ideas!
 
Believe that you are worthy. So many of us worry we might be perceived as ‘bad’ if we think we deserve something. This is different from arrogance. This is not the person who thinks they are so beyond wonderful everyone should swoon when they enter the room. This is the quiet confidence that you are a good person who deserves love and to obtain goals. That may mean accepting help, gifts and advice. Learning to accept all of these graciously is a skill worth learning. On the other side of this coin many of us wait for the ‘other shoe to drop’ if we are feeling too happy. What a waste! You’ve got happiness and joy and your spending it as if something bad has happened. If an issue comes up..deal with it then. There are always ups and down but you need to find the pleasure in the ups and allow yourself to experience that fully.
 
Be grateful. This may sound rather obvious but it’s important to remember to be grateful for what you already have, what you may have and what you can do for others.
 
Offer to help others. Especially those who are connected to your desires. The natural flow of energy in the universe means you must give of yourself to receive.
 
Listen to the inner voice you have. If it’s telling you negative things, you need to learn to tune it out and shift it to a positive voice. It can happen.
A coach can help you if you need support.
 
You can create your own destiny..make it a great one!

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What is the number one complaint I hear from people in my coaching practice?

 

Well that is an easy question to answer. Simply put, most people feel they just don’t have enough TIME to get everything done that they want to. Is this the real problem?

 No, not usually.

More often than not, the problem really lies in a lack of planning and managing the time you do have effectively. We all have busy lives, important things we need to get done, people we love and want to spend time with and a myriad of little nigglely things that take up time. How then can we change this pattern? No one wants to feel like they are running after themselves all the time.

First, we need to know what we want. Sounds simple doesn’t? Truth is most of us go through our day doing this and that and not really thinking about it. By knowing exactly what the goal is we can much more effectively get there. Now this doesn’t mean you need to write down a complicated plan for every little thing..please don’t think that. It also doesn’t mean you ought to have a minute by minute agenda. Some people thrive with that kind of detailed planning, but most lose interest quickly and end up drifting away from such a regimented plan.
Setting goals for your day is important. Knowing what needs to be done and organizing a day that allows that. You need to make it on time to your dentist, you don’t need to check out the new shoes in the store. However, the wants are important too. How to combine these? Is there a route you can take to wander by this wonderful shoe store on the way to the dentist? Understanding need vs want can make a huge difference in feeling overwhelmed and rushed.
 
Take a moment, write down your needs and wants on a page with two columns.
 
What do you notice?  Yup, your real needs are usually much smaller in number then your wants.
 
However, that being said..please remember to once in a while cross off some of the things on the wants side of you list. Otherwise your life may not feel as satisfying. Believe it or not..you NEED to have fun too!

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The Ride

Nature always takes her time. Great oaks don’t become great overnight. They also lose a lot of leaves, branches and bark in the process of becoming great.”— Andrew Matthews

In our age of immediate gratification we tend to expect the same from ourselves. We must be able to do it now, learn it fast, do it quicker…

What a shame we forget the joy of living now. The process of achieving our goals can be just as rewarding as when/if we get there. Living in the now brings us a sense of peace and innate satisfaction. Always focusing on what is coming can cause us to miss out on the joys of today.

Take a moment to do something we’ve all heard about. Stop, take a breath and count your blessings. Life can be tough no doubt, things can look bleak but you have places to take joy from. It might just be that you have a warm place to sleep and food in your stomach or that you have friends you can count on or great kids.

Life throws us curveballs but if you learn from them you will be a stronger person. You’re life is actually richer for those hard times.

Don’t let the joy you have get overshadowed by any difficulties. Remember, there are bumps in every road..but you can still enjoy the ride.

Dog enjoying a ride

No matter where you are going, don't forget to enjoy simply getting there

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What is success?

Go ahead, take a moment to think about that one. I imagine if you asked 100 people you would get a hundred different answers.

Why is this one so tough to nail down? We all have different ideas because we are all different people, with different values and at different places in our lives.

That being said all those answers really can be boiled down to the idea of reaching a sense of fulfillment and happiness.

How do we measure success? We do that by first setting goals.

Think about this, if you set out to drive to a mall you have never been what is the first thing you do? You plan your route. You know your goal is to get to this mall, you now have a route. You realize you are successful when you are able to turn into that parking lot! Most things in life are the same way. If I don’t have a goal how will I know when I’ve arrived? I won’t. Success is measured by achieving these goals..be they big or small steps. Without planning a route you will wander around feeling frustrated and annoyed. You may even give up on your goal.

Successes of all sizes need to be recognized and celebrated. True you may not jump for joy and throw yourself a party for making it to the mall but you still can feel pleased with yourself! Isn’t it wonderful to have a reason to simply smile to yourself?

Don’t be afraid to enjoy the ride, the small steps leading to a big goal can be as rewarding as finally getting there. You may have a life goal you never actually achieve..wouldn’t it be a shame to not see the path you’ve travelled is full of amazing things that should be celebrated?

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  If you have recently spent any time with a small child you probably have enjoyed a smile or laugh at how they might interpret something that happens quite far from the truth.

One cutie I used to teach was certain that teachers lived at school. It made perfect sense to him. Teachers were always in the building. When asked why he thought I had a car in the parking lot he simply stated that I needed it to go get groceries of course. He had it if all figured out in his head and it all made perfect sense so he believed it. Another kindergarten age child explained to me once how the sun got up because he did. Again, this makes perfect sense to this child so he believed it. 

A good chuckle true but have you ever noticed that we tend to continue this way of assuming things as adults?

Think about it for just a moment. Take for example, the guy you see every morning at the coffee shop who doesn’t smile or say hello back to you. We think that they are grumpy, miserable or don’t like us.  We can actually concoct quite personal issues where their most likely are none. 

Or do you ever think to yourself that it seems every time you get a little extra money something breaks! I know I’ve jokingly said my car must have a chip in it that knows exactly how much money is in my bank account because it always breaks just about that much.   

Now these ideas or stories I conduct in my head do not serve my life terribly well. In fact, they take away from it and add negativity.

I could just have easily have said that perhaps the guy at the coffee shop is painfully shy, or maybe doesn’t speak English very well. I could make an effort to brighten his day rather than let this dampen mine.  In addition, I could look at it as a wonderful blessing that the universe is providing just what I need right now to fix my car, rather than viewing it as a situation that is taking away something.   

What stories do you create in your life
and how can you make them positive ones?

 

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