Posts Tagged ‘truth’

Well, it’s Tuesday already…two more days until I embark on a road trip to partake in the second of three very long, but fabulous, weekends of training.  It really is a bit crazy but I’m so happykeep-calm-two-more-days to be there it doesn’t matter.  Mind you I pretty much collapse into bed but that’s okay; I have to get up early anyway!  Crazy town?  Perhaps but I can’t wait to get there.

No kidding…as long is it, you know what? In addition to being really excited about getting to hone the skills I already have and learn some new ones – I’m really excited to see the people who are going to be there.

There are some amazing – no freaking amazing people in this group.  I’ve gotten to know a few of them much better because of the way the studies are set up in between the 3-day weekends.

I can’t wait to give some of them a BIG hug.

Truly, for me half of the joy of deciding to sign up with iPEC (the school I’m training with) is finding all these people who kind of think just like me!   Holy crap they ARE out there!

I know I’ve said it before in other posts but us humans are not meant to go it alone in this life.  We are meant to make connections, learn from each other and offer that hand up when we can.  I don’t think alone is our natural state.

Don’t get me wrong.  I am very comfortable being just with myself and to be honest, sometimes I need it.  But to FEEL alone, well that is another story.  That is loneliness.  And that hurts.

It hurts more I think to feel alone in sea of people who you think care about you too.  Not being able to express your ideas, thoughts or what your soul’s light is shining is really painful and frustrating.  No one wants to feel judged because of who they are deep inside – so we keep it hidden or we feel like we are banging our heads against a wall.

Finding people who I can easily be understood by and who ‘get’ me was like unlocking a treasure box…it feels like coming home. I get what people mean now by the idea of finding your tribe.  Your tribe is people who, while not walking your path, parallel it enough that there is connection, understanding and shared excitement and joy about the same sorts of things. (tweet this)

You know what I mean?

So, I’m looking forward to seeing all of them again, learning and laughing and the occasionally teary session. Some powerful stuff coaching and we all go through it together.

Have you found some of your tribe?






ps. If YOU want to become part of MY tribe too (and I hope you do!) you can start by getting my monthly newsletter in your inbox.  Just register your email here and you’re good to go. Yay!


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I realized not that long ago that I have been chasing some dreams and not getting anywhere and I couldn’t figure out why.

At least that is what I told myself.

When I had the courage to ask myself some tough questions and pause long enough to really look at what I was doing it really seemed like I what I was really doing was chasing my tail rather than my morebedingdreams.

So, I had to ask myself what the deal was.  Why was I feeling very ‘busy’ but getting nothing done in terms of moving forward with some things.

Busy doesn’t mean productive.  Do I really have to explain this?  I think we know deep down when we are being ‘busy busy’ but not being real. Procrastination loves this aspect of itself.

I was chasing something but never catching it.  This plan had to change if anything was going to be achieved I knew that.  The hard part was being really honest with myself and not beating myself up at the same time.

Mindful examination without judgment…wow.  Powerful stuff…and really tricky at times.

Still I decided to STOP chasing my dreams altogether.  This doesn’t mean I’m not still planning on achieving my dreams – no way I’d give that up!

What is means is I’m no longer blindly running around hoping to fall into what I need.  Fact is even if I had I’d probably have kept running around unable to recognize it anyway.

So I stopped chasing.  I started pulling my dreams towards me with conscious deliberate steps.  Mutual attraction is so much more powerful.

I asked myself what do I need to get ‘here’.  Then, how can I get what I need.

Two very simple, very powerful questions that stopped the chase.

Now I’m walking purposefully towards what I want.  I know what I am doing to get there.  The blinders are off, the chasing has stopped and I no longer am waiting to fall into something.  I’m making it happen.

For the record one of my dreams – now a concrete goal – is to train to be an ICF certified Wellness Coach.  More tools, more skills, more people to serve. Although I am already a certified coach I really felt limited by my own skill set and wanted to get DEEPER.

I’m doing that right now.  In about 6 months I’ll have nailed that goal down because I asked myself what I needed (training) and how I can get that (research schools, talk to people) and then I submitted my application.  I was approved and started just recently.

It’s like waking up in your own bed after being away for a time.  It just feels right and perfect.

If you are chasing your dreams maybe it’s time for you to stop too.  Give up the chase and start the path of striding with all sorts of confidence towards what you want and need.

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2talkingThis post might look a little different from most.  I am sharing with you a snippet of a conversation that took place (with permission of course).

I was talking to a client about their goals.  LOADS of frustration on their part because they feel they are scattered all over the place and nothing connects for them.  Add in they have so many goals that they don’t know where to even start.  *Please note I did make some edits in order to protect privacy.

Time to back up this train.

ME:  Where do you want these goals to take you?

CLIENT: What do you mean?

ME:  If I can be kind of ‘devil’s advocate’ for a moment?


ME: What’s the point of doing all this stuff in the first place?

CLIENT: well…(long pause) I guess so I can improve my life. 

ME: Where is your life lacking that you need to improve it?

CLIENT: Me..I’m lacking (this was more blurted out than said).  Haha..no I mean, well, couldn’t we all improve our lives?

ME:  Can we?

CLIENT: I know I can…I just can’t put my finger on where. I-I-hmmm.   I guess I just want to get to a place where I feel happy.

ME: Where is this place?

CLIENT: What? Well..  I guess it’s somewhere in the future when I improve my life.

ME: Okay. So tell me what does this place look like?

CLIENT: Look like?  I hadn’t thought much about that.  I guess it’s where I am happy because I like what I do, who I am and I have good friends and security.  (*to be honest the details were a bit more specific but in fairness to privacy I generalized it)

ME: Do you have any of that right now?

CLIENT: Kind of. (*went on to describe 3 situations)

ME: Wait…so you have 3 places right in the here and now that you find really happy?  So..tell me what makes you feel you must you wait for the future to be happy?

CLIENT: Well, because it’s only part of my life.

ME:  How much of your life must be in place for you to be happy?

CLIENT: uh you mean like a percentage?  I don’t know..hmm.  Oh I see where you going.  Life isn’t ever perfect is it?

ME: Is it?

CLIENT: No.  It isn’t but some people just seem like life is good and I want that.

ME: So, we know no one’s life is perfect and yet some people act like it anyway. 

CLIENT: Huh.  How do they do that?  I guess they just focus on the good stuff?  But you can’t ignore the bad things that happen.

ME: True.  Consider your energy and focus a limited amount of funds every day.  Can you do that?


ME: When you focus on something; good or bad – you spend some of this ‘energy’ fund. Okay?


ME:  Where are you going to put the most of your funds if you want to be happy? 

CLIENT:  Oh! (eyes have lit up and there is a big smile).  I see where this is going.

Okay ladies and gentlemen.  That is all I”m going to share because it gets very personal at that point.  I hope you can see where this was going too.  Just like life – you spend you money on what is important to you.  For most of us that’s housing, clothes, food and then some fun stuff.  But we still have to pay bills, go to the dentist and fix the darn car.   Once the car repairs are paid for though are you going to obsess on them?  No?  You move on. 

This is also how you should treat your negative stuff in life.  Deal with it, and move on.  Learn to let go so it doesn’t consume your thoughts and make it so you can’t take pleasure in the beautiful things and people that do surround you.


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I read a quote today on Facebook that included the comment  “and never let ’em see you cry”.  What’s with that crap?myrant

Yes, this is going to be a bit of a rant.  Bear with me lovelies.

For most of my life I held it in.  People hurt me deeply and I did everything in my power to hide it.  I let them carry on thinking all was just fine.  Sometimes it was fear of being vulnerable, sometimes I didn’t want to make others uncomfortable but mostly I thought I would appear weak.  My thoughts? “Screw them. They will never see me cry!”

So, but refusing to share or be truthful, I thought I was strong.  I was fooling myself.

It’s not strong to hide your emotions, it’s really not.  Burying them deep down causes some real problems for your  health too but I’m not even going to go there.  The mental and emotional issues are enough for one post I think.

Problem number one with this crap of never let them see you cry.  Crying is a natural and healthy reaction.  It means you have feelings and that is a good thing.  When you hurt you need to feel it in order to move through and past it.  I’m not saying you have to shed tears, but forcing yourself to NOT feel them when you need to is foolish. 

Tears can be sign that you have been strong for long enough, that you need to heal. 

Problem number two may be a surprise for some.  What I discovered it you can’t just shut off ONE emotion.  All others are affected too.  At the least, joy is diminished, love is dampened or even withheld and that sucks.   What’s the point of this life if you aren’t going to experience it?? 

Life has pain and sorrow and it has joys beyond measure.  You can’t have one without allowing the other.  Shut them off and you are not living – you are simply surviving.

So cut it out with this nonsense.  Let your emotions happen and bless them.  If you hurt and feel tears – let them come.   If you are joyful and feel tears – let them come.  You should never excuse being a human who participates fully in life. 

If you find that it makes others uncomfortable, that isn’t your stuff.  That is their stuff.  Perhaps you may even help them find permission to feel more deeply themselves, or perhaps they will simply feel awkward.  Let them.  They  have their own story to write.

I am not a person who easily cries…never really have been.  Which brings me to problem number three.  Not being honest with myself or others.  If I am feeling tears and I stamp them down along with the emotions that brought the tears in the first place, I am hiding from myself.  I am telling my self that I am not allowed to be me and my truth is not valuable.   Oh hell no!  You and I both know that we are worthy of our own truth!

You also are not being honest with those around you.  If you act like what is happening is no big deal, guess what?  They will continue to do whatever is upsetting you, hurting you or causing those tears.  Even joyous tears that are not allowed can be dishonest.  Those around you get to thinking you don’t ‘feel’ it and might think you don’t really care.  Not great for your relationships.

Why are we so afraid to show our hearts these days?

My tears, my joys and my hurts are MINE to express however I need to.  If that means tears or dancing in the aisle, this is what I will be doing.  So I’m changing those old lyrics from “it’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to…” into “It’s my life and I’ll cry if I want to..”

So I say, let ’em see you cry but keep your head held high.  Stand proudly in those emotions whatever they are.  I ask you to never EVER apologise for being you. 

You are far to wonderful to allow yourself to be diminished like that.

Okay…rant over.  ((hugs)) all around! 

Blessings and love to you all!


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20132013 is feeling pretty exciting already.  I’m not sure why I just KNOW deep in my heart that big things are going to happen and HUGE shifts in my life are about to be made.

It’s got me all full of energy!

I’ve seen a TON of people asking the question this year about what your 2013 ‘focus word’ will be.  I guess this is the new way to get around making resolutions for the New Year.  There is a bit of backlash against those poor things but that’s another post altogether isn’t it?

So my word for 2013…hmm.  That’s not as easy as you might think.  I really wanted my word to be something super inspiring.  Okay I’ll be honest I really like to be different too. Lots of people were throwing out buzz words which is terrific if they work for you.  I like words like ‘limitless’ or ‘unstoppable’ but I had a couple of problems with this.

First, loads of people were employing them this year and that alone tends to make me back up.  I suppose someday I’ll have to explore why that is with me but for right now I’m just accepting it. 

Second, none of those words really hit home for me.  I like them, I find inspiration in hearing others use them as their focus word but it just didn’t stick for me.

Crap.  Now what?  It’s pretty bad if I can’t find a freakin word to choose right?  Seems like everyone else was right there with one ready to go. I really like the idea and had plans to create a wordle, screen saver etc etc…but I blanked.

It seems my ego was shouting a bit too loud.  My heart couldn’t quite be heard.

So, I had to shut my ego the heck up and open the doors to my own truth and light.  My ego hates to feel judged.  Had way to much of that when I was a kid and it’s still a bit of an issue I am working on. 

I meditated and listened.  My heart’s wishes were there, I just couldn’t quite grasp them.  Then a few nights ago I awoke.  My 4am thinking time.  Before I was even fully awake, my word came to me loud and clear. 


Huh?  To be honest I checked again with a ‘are you sure that’s it?’ but yup. It feels good.  My ego isn’t too sure and really wants to clarify I’m NOT talking about my waistline but even my ego can see the truth in it.

My world, my understanding and my life…all expanding.

Can I just tell you that I know it’s part of my deepest truth, because even typing that last sentence brought so much emotion with it, I had a few tears.  I think perhaps expanding my joy and gratitude are almost too much for my little ol heart to take talking about but it will!  It will only grow stronger every time I do.

I tell you this partly because I like to share with all of you my own joys and partly for another reason.  To share the importance of introspective thought and how tough it can be to find the real truth.  I have barriers I needed to cross before I could see it clearly.  So do you.  Many will just jump on the bandwagon and throw out a ‘cool’ word but hardly give it a second thought.  This has been the problem with resolutions and goals for….well ever!  We don’t think deeply enough about them.

It has to matter deep down; it has to have a WHY. 

I’d love to hear what your focus word for 2013 is, and even your story as to your why.  I’d also love your ideas as to what to DO with these focus words to keep them in the forefront for 2013.

My biggest wish is not that you make perfect goals, and set out wonderful plans to reach them; although I’m happy to help you with that.  My biggest hope for you is that you are able to discover your own hearts deepest with and bring it out into the light.  To give it life and love so you can begin the journey towards your own joy.



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Every single person on this Earth has expectations and assumptions.  We kind of have to in order to manage to get through life without losing our minds. 

Think about it..we assume that the guy in the other car will stop for the red light on his side so we just buzz on through the green.  But we also have assumptions about our expectations.

Mind spinning yet?

We know what we feel and desire in our heart of hearts.  But we often assume that who we are in our truest form won’t be accepted by others.  Many of us wear many masks and hide our dreams because of what we think is expected of us. 

And we won’t break out of these roles because we fear losing our friends and even family.

So we remain, unhappy, hidden and our greatest gifts – our light – is dimmed and shuttered.

If you step back over here with me to look at this a bit differently I’d like to point out of couple of problems with this line of thinking.

First, you were not put here on this Earth to be small, dim or hidden.  You have a light within you that is a gift, and you do it such a disservice by closing the shutters up tight because someone out there may not like it.  You were meant to shine!

Which brings me to my next thought.  Not everyone is going to like you – that is a given in life.  That’s okay.  Simply bless those people and move on.  However, consider this.  If no one knows who you truly are and they only see this facade – then in all truth – no one really likes or  loves you because they don’t know you.  They might like the person you are projecting, but that isn’t YOU.

You can’t lose what you don’t actually have I’m afraid.  Truly if you think everyone likes you then that is a huge hint you aren’t being your truest self.  You are playing roles to make others happy.  I mean c’mon…even the best of us have people who dislike them!

When you allow yourself to shine, to be you in all your quirky ways, then others who will love you for those very things can find you.  Until then you are just an actor on stage and people are simply loving your role…not you.

Imagine what and who you are missing.  Imagine the peace and joy of releasing all that misery and self-condemnation and allowing yourself to grow into the beautiful being you were alway meant to be. 

It’s okay to love you.  In fact, I’m betting most people you already know will love you too if you are brave enough to give them that chance.  You’ll be surprised at what happens.  Take off the masks – live free.


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Lately I have been moving towards different goals. In the process I’ve been discovering more and more about my true self.  While this is very liberating and at the same time occasionally scary I have noticed something new.

I have been teetering on the brink.  The question I struggle with is the brink of what?

I can only explain in mundane words what I have been feeling but here goes.

Imagine with me for a moment.  There is an edge I can’t quite see over.  Be it a cliff or hill..whatever.  Moving closer brings with it excitement and it is also a bit scary.  When I get too close I pull back to the safety of where I was to take a breath…perhaps just a little closer than before.

I can see the edge and the blue skies beyond it but I don’t know what it holds.

I know, somewhere deep in my soul that I need to walk over to the edge and leap.  I know it.  But fear is a tricky thing isn’t it?

What will I find?  I am not sure but I believe I am becoming me, but even more so.  Does that make sense?  Ha!  Sometimes it doesn’t quite make sense to me.

I am reminded of my good friend Deone’s post comparing his journey to the butterfly.  I actually haven’t thought of that post for a while.  For some reason THAT was the post that showed up when I came to my blog this day.  A little whisper from the universe to move me along?  Perhaps that is what is happening?  Perhaps I am ready to transform, to leave or maybe build a cocoon and grow my wings.

It’s funny.  Not long ago I would have said I already did that.  That certain things which happened taught me so much about my own power, my own light and my place in this world.

I honestly  used to wonder what people did when they got it figured out.   Seriously. I thought…once you learn how to meditate or be calm what do you do then? 

Well, I can tell you that with every pair of wings you have grown; with every sky you have learned to soar in there is more.  There is so much more.  You can’t always see what is above until you can rise up. 

There is a story about how when you are on a train and it goes into a tunnel and gets dark you don’t jump off.  Instead you know to trust the driver to get you through the tunnel and back into the light. 

My friends…you drive your own train.  You can’t help but come across a tunnel once in a while.  Trust in your ability to find the light at the other end.  Some tunnels are longer than others but they all lead somewhere.  On the other side…the light might just be a little brighter.  You’re light might be a little brighter.  Things might just fit more perfectly then they ever have before.

Sooner or later I’m going to take the leap over that edge.   I can see the glimmer of light from the end of the tunnel I’ve been travelling in.  I know I will get there.   You’ll see.  I hope you find your next level of growth just as exciting and scary and that you too find the perfect time to go take a look at what you can become when you trust.

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