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Archive for June, 2013

Well, it’s Tuesday already…two more days until I embark on a road trip to partake in the second of three very long, but fabulous, weekends of training.  It really is a bit crazy but I’m so happykeep-calm-two-more-days to be there it doesn’t matter.  Mind you I pretty much collapse into bed but that’s okay; I have to get up early anyway!  Crazy town?  Perhaps but I can’t wait to get there.

No kidding…as long is it, you know what? In addition to being really excited about getting to hone the skills I already have and learn some new ones – I’m really excited to see the people who are going to be there.

There are some amazing – no freaking amazing people in this group.  I’ve gotten to know a few of them much better because of the way the studies are set up in between the 3-day weekends.

I can’t wait to give some of them a BIG hug.

Truly, for me half of the joy of deciding to sign up with iPEC (the school I’m training with) is finding all these people who kind of think just like me!   Holy crap they ARE out there!

I know I’ve said it before in other posts but us humans are not meant to go it alone in this life.  We are meant to make connections, learn from each other and offer that hand up when we can.  I don’t think alone is our natural state.

Don’t get me wrong.  I am very comfortable being just with myself and to be honest, sometimes I need it.  But to FEEL alone, well that is another story.  That is loneliness.  And that hurts.

It hurts more I think to feel alone in sea of people who you think care about you too.  Not being able to express your ideas, thoughts or what your soul’s light is shining is really painful and frustrating.  No one wants to feel judged because of who they are deep inside – so we keep it hidden or we feel like we are banging our heads against a wall.

Finding people who I can easily be understood by and who ‘get’ me was like unlocking a treasure box…it feels like coming home. I get what people mean now by the idea of finding your tribe.  Your tribe is people who, while not walking your path, parallel it enough that there is connection, understanding and shared excitement and joy about the same sorts of things. (tweet this)

You know what I mean?

So, I’m looking forward to seeing all of them again, learning and laughing and the occasionally teary session. Some powerful stuff coaching and we all go through it together.

Have you found some of your tribe?

 

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ps. If YOU want to become part of MY tribe too (and I hope you do!) you can start by getting my monthly newsletter in your inbox.  Just register your email here and you’re good to go. Yay!

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I wrote a blog a while ago that got a lot of amazing responses.  Ones that opened up new learning for me too.  The blog was about whether we can or should have compassion for ‘bad’ people.

Today’s blog isn’t far off that, but instead focuses more on how we can have compassion for the people in our life whom we care about and who are doing really well.

Why? Because I hear people talking about it.  I should say trying NOT to talk about it.  They don’t want to admit the feelings they are having around someone else’s success.  We all know this feeling…jealously.

Even when we really truly are happy for the other person those jealous feelings can creep in to our minds can’t they?  I mean, often we look and think about ‘why them and not me?’.

Yuck.  What a crappy feeling for us to deal with.  Still, as I have said before – all feelings have value and should be acknowledged as valid.  Squashing them down only gives them time to grow and no one wants that right?

So how can compassion help us with that? I know most of us think of compassion as pity but in fact it is so much more than that.  It’s love.  Pure and simple.  Love, love love!

You see, wanting what someone else has is fine.  We all do this.  That’s not what jealousy is.  Jealousy is when we start to have feelings of resentment build up towards the other person and our own situation.  Resentment means we are taking someone else’s happiness or success as a personal affront.  When we start to take it personally we are really directing our negative energy inward and creating resentment.be-kind-for-everyone-you-meet-is-fighting-a-hard-battle

Resentment is a powerful and negative energy.  It thrives on that inner dialogue of ‘I’m not good enough’.

Compassion can help this because it takes the personal issues out and brings love into the situation.

Compassion is inherently filled with love and one of the most powerful forces on earth. (Tweet this!)

At its simplest I suppose you can use compassion to remind yourself that even though we see this person getting what we might want, their life has its problems too.  Don’t kid yourself, I imagine there are people who look at your life and feel the same way.  But let’s face it – no one has it perfect right?  We all have our struggles and when we keep that in mind we have an easier time feeling joy for others rather than envy or worse, jealously and resentment.

The other thing that is seldom talked about is showing some compassion for ourselves.  We, as a society, are so freaking hard on ourselves and it leads to so many mental and physical health issues along with playing a really small game in life.

37028_524675977570289_207316815_nA really great way to start dealing with your jealousy and resentment is to show that love to yourself by looking at all the blessings and accomplishments you already have.

Everyone is on a different path with new things to learn.

Comparing your story to someone else’s is like comparing apples to Volkswagens.  Not even in the same parking lot. (Tweet This)

So, yeah! Compassion trumps jealously!

Now it’s YOUR turn! In the comments below tell me of a time that you overcame jealousy and resentment for the better – and how you did it.

 

 

 

 

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