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Archive for May, 2013

Some interesting news this week of the possibility of sonar showing where Amelia Earhart’s plane’s final resting place might be.amelia

Check out the news here.

As a young girl I was rather fascinated by her story.  A women who did what she loved, was brave and adventurous at a time when what she wanted to do was generally frowned upon by societal norms.  And yet, she captured the heart and minds of people everywhere.

In fact, this sort of thing happens more often then we realize.  The ‘thing’ being admiring those who buck the ‘norms’ to follow their hearts desires.  Those people who felt the ‘shouldn’t do that’ label put on them by society, but went ahead and did it anyway.

What’s that really telling us do you think?

Clearly as a society we need a sense of normalcy and expected rules and understandings.  This helps us all get a long in a sense.  And yet, when these ‘norms’ and ‘rules’ prevent some of us from reaching for the stars (literally in Amelia’s case) we applaud people for pushing past them.  It seems we value those who are brave enough to be who they are – no matter what anyone else thinks.

We WANT to see the underdog win!

So how does that translate to our every day life?

Seems to me, as I look, I see far too many people living small and stopping themselves from reaching out and taking risks out of fear of upsetting the normal balance of things.  They are living as though that feeling of shouldn’t is their own personal truth!

What would Amelia say about that I wonder?

What does your heart and spirit say about that?

We all do it.  In fact, I’ve been holding back on a few things in case I can’t get it right, or figure it out or mess up and oh goodness….what will ‘people’ think?  I believe I have to rephrase that to what would I think?

Suddenly, when you ask that question; everything shifts.

What do I think about holding back to please unknown masses?  I think that most of them would cheer me on anyway.  I think that those who wouldn’t aren’t who I want in my corner.

Let’s face it, we need to buck tradition sometimes to see what else is out there.  To stretch and realize that what might have worked (or not) before can change and we can learn to be better versions of ourselves at any time.

One of the things I’ve wanted to do for a while but let lie is to shift this blog over to a self hosted one. One where I can offer more and get more creative with what I put out there.  Hanging out here has been wonderful, amazing and at times breathtaking.  I have noticed how much more self hosted blogs have to offer though and how much  more creative they can be.  I told myself I don’t have time to learn all that I’ll need to know to do it, but you know…that is what I told myself before I started this blog too.

So, I’m off to see what I can learn about it and take some steps to streeeeeetch myself in that direction today.

Life is about learning, growing and loving the process.  It’s also about falling flat on your butt sometimes, but even that can offer a different perspective on things.  Or at least a different view.turtleflying

The courses I’ve been taking recently have helped me dig even deeper into my soul’s purpose and you’re going to see some stuff happening in the next while.  I can’t wait. 

What are you going to do today to break through that feeling of ‘shouldn’t’?

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So I have this lovely friend named Lynn Brown.  She’s pretty motivating and motivated and I have long enjoyed her videos and confidence in doing them.

In fact, more than once she’s made me get a bit of an excitement to doing my own videos.

Then I let my ‘stuff’ get in the way and I let that go.  I can admit I’ve got some video hang-ups!  I’m not looking my best, what if I flub it up, what if people don’t like what I say, what if I don’t make sense?  Goodness, what if people point and laugh! I know, I know…how would I even know if they did that right?

You know FEAR…it’s creative if nothing else.  And it was keeping me playing small…way smaller than I want to be playing!

You know confidence is the killer of fear and we need to cultivate our own.  How do you increase confidence?  By facing our fear, on purpose and with love and grace.

Well, Lynn issued a challenge the other day to step outside that ol’ comfort zone and beef up your own confidence by doing something that scares you a little today which for me was exactly that…a video.  Here is the link to her message that lit a fire under my butt.  Maybe it was her words, maybe it was the sunshine and maybe it all just came together on a perfect day for it…but I heard her loud and clear.

I loved her video…shared it and thought about it as I avoided the whole thing by taking Charlie for a nice hike in the sunshine.

While I was out and about I had some aha moments.  When I got home I kicked my FEAR to the curb and just did it.  By the time I figured out how to use my laptop camera I was actually kind of excited to respond to Lynn.  Here is it!  I really had to work to push that publish button on YouTube let me tell you.  Of course Lynn was super supportive and gave me some wonderful cheers after for just going for it.

You know the beauty of stomping fear is the terrific feeling you get afterwards when you realize you are even more amazing than you thought.  That you have stepped into your own light and truth and it’s freaking amazing.  So, I’m stomping a little harder by sharing my video here with you too.  Trust me my little voice is saying ‘be careful’ and ‘oh no, don’t do that!’

Please let me know what you think either here or in comments on my YouTube site.

So, what are YOU going to do to step up and build your own confidence?

Many blessings!

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Simply put, the key to happiness is to stop looking for the freaking key to happiness.

The fact is, the doors have never been locked up in the first place.  There is nothing to wait for.  You can open the doors to that sort of life anytime you choose.

Maybe you have lofty goal and plans.  So do I.  Trust me, if you could see the vision of my life that is taking shape right now, I know  a lot of you would wonder at my sense of reality and sanity.

That’s okay.  I get it. I’m dreaming really big these days and not everyone is ready for that.  I think I’ll just let them wonder until they see me taking strides and steps and moving closer and closer.  After all, showing is far more believable than telling right?

Still, I’m really happy today too.  I’m not going to sit around waiting on something to ‘let’ me be happy.  Or for some magical goal to get crossed off, or threshold to be crossed or please…certainly not for the proverbial knight in shining armor to come ’round and save the day.

Seriously.  Why wait?  There really isn’t anything you need to wait for!  I’ve discovered that happiness isn’t a destination anyway.  It’s not something you can go out and get.  And you can never use it all up.

There is only one thing you have to do to find your own happiness.  Choose it.

Allow yourself to decide that you are already happy.  Be grateful for all the blessings you have in your life and love your people right here today.

It’s always been within you, waiting for you to let it loose and choose to jump in with both feet.

happyIf you want to be happy, then be happy.

Start by smiling.  Too many of us don’t smile because we wonder what others will think.  You know what they will think?  Wow, she’s such a happy person.  And then they will wonder how they to can be happy just like you; and maybe, just maybe they will start smiling too.

Then look what you did.  You are a carrier of the happiness virus and you are spreading it all over the freakin place.

I’m not sure when humanity got everything so bloody mixed up.  We all say we want to feel happy and joy and love.  Yet, we hesitate, we worry about reactions and we push down those feelings so they don’t get out of hand.  That makes no sense.  We celebrate and admire those who are postitive people that make life joyous, yet we are hesitant to allow ourselves to do the same.

Don’t you find it weird we all seem to think that negative emotions like sadness, anger and frustrations are okay to be talked about and seem to be more socially accepted?  And a lot of the time we feel the need to keep our happiness and joyful feelings ‘under control’ or dampened?  Like we don’t want to bother anyone with them?

Okay so it’s your turn.  I’d love to hear your take on why that is in the comments below.

 

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Many of my regular readers know that a few years ago I was in a car accident and suffered some injuries from that which left me in quite a state.

What many people don’t realize is that despite creating a lot healing in my body and mind,   I am still usually managing my life in a state of pain.  Now this ebbs and flows with how bad it actually is and for the most part I don’t allow it to impede too much of my life.

It does affect me more than I let on…but I’ve learned to be so grateful for what I can do and let the rest of it go.  I also don’t like to focus my energy on this aspect of my life and so don’t often bring it up.  I do so today because it’s part of the message and needs to be said to make the rest of this make sense.

What doctors and people don’t tell you about constant pain, even when you can get up and out to do things; is how exhausting it is.  Truly, it wears you out even when you feel like your handling it.  It’s just how it is.  I drop faster than I used to and it’s much harder to gather up my energy to push through.  I can and do, but at the same time I will not send myself into a tailspin because it’s also a much longer recovery.

What I have discovered is I have had to walk away from some people in my life who refuse to ‘hear’ what I’m telling them in any sort of compassionate way.

a_true_friend_button-p145655074167690832t5sj_400Well, to be honest, the first year of my accident really showed me who was in my life to stay and who were – what’s the phrase – fair-weather friends?

A lot of people dropped away when I couldn’t “do” for them anymore.  It hurt for a while, but now I realize that this might have been a gift.  Seeing the true colors of people also showed me who would be standing by me when I was in real need.  The colors on those folks are simply beautiful.

However, these days it’s not so black and white or colored.  Self-care is a big issue for me because I have BIG, crazy and passionate dreams to fill and that means sometimes I need to take a time out and or limit things.  I am aware I can’t do it all, at least not all the time.

In fact, I think we all do, I’m just really aware of how fast I can drop to burned out.  I can’t afford that anymore.  I learned the hard way that it’s far, FAR better for me to take a day of rest and quiet me-time than it is to push too hard and end up in worse pain that keeps me from doing anything other than basic survival for days.

If I didn’t tell people I need to recoup or why I have these limits, I would totally get the confusion.  But I have a couple of people in my life I’m letting go of because they refuse to accept it and refuse to show any understanding or compassion.  I’ve realized the ‘stuff’ they want to do with me isn’t about our friendship or spending time together. I’m simply a person to fill a space.

I refuse to be made to feel guilty, manipulated or shamed into doing something that will cause me grief and put a hold on my life, simply because of someone else’s desires. Clearly this does work for them some of the time with some of the people, but I gotta say,  it’s not cool to treat anyone like that.

I kid you not when I tell you I’ve been called ‘party-pooper’ and it’s been suggested I’m not ‘fun’ (all in front of a crowd!).  I’ve agreed to meet and do one activity and then been harassed and annoyed by repeated attempts to force the issue to do something else I’ve made clear I do not want to do.  Seriously?  Do those tricks work?

The favorite one is the tricky start off question.  You know…so what are you doing this Saturday?  If I said nothing in particular, they act like there is no reason you can’t come with to an event or do them a favor.  What they fail to realize is I don’t need a reason or excuse.  ‘No thanks’ works just fine.

There is one person who actually gets ticked off when they don’t get what they want.  I guess they aren’t used to someone saying no to them because of the way In-the-end-these-things-matter-most-How-well-did-you-love-How-fully-did-you-live-How-deeply-did-you-let-go-Quote-by-Buddhathey ‘ask’ for favors.  Interestingly enough, they are never able to return the favor.  I also rarely hear from this one person until the moment they want one of these favors.

And the gossip and complaining! Oh don’t even get me started on that.  I can only take so much of that on any good day.  That alone is exhausting don’t you think?

And all that is perfectly okay.  It does sort of seem that we are not sharing the same head space.  I don’t want play those games and have the kind of energy floating around.

I know that this kind of stuff isn’t what I want around me.  I dislike these forms of manipulation, but more importantly I’ve realized how lacking in compassion these relationships are.  Don’t get me wrong, I think these folks are really nice people at heart, but as I said, we aren’t in the same mindset about what life is for.

I would rather cultivate relationships that are based on mutual passions, compassion and kindnesses.  Wouldn’t you?

So yes, I’m letting go of these relationships.   Some completely, some just in a very diminished sense.  And it feels good.  It frees up space and time in my life for those who have similar mindsets to come fill.

Not every relationship is meant to be a life-long one.  I really do believe that some people come into our lives to bring lessons.  Once that lesson is learned we need to move on.

The point is, I am a lot more aware of what I will and won’t tolerate in my life and boy, does that ever make things clear!  I have also learned that things cannot drag us down if we stop holding onto them.

So I ask you.  What are you tolerating in your life that you can let go of?

 

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A fair number of people have mentioned that I tend to do things ‘outside’ the box.  One person just this week suggested that I had a bit of a rebel streak.  I’m certain they meant it as a compliment; at least I hope so because that is exactly how I took it.

For whatever reason, as a kid and even as a teenager I rarely judged what I was doing as good or bad, or for that matter if others were good or bad.

That lack of awareness (and yes, at the time that is what it was) that I ‘should’ be weighing things in such a way took me pretty far.  I never really got pigeon-holed into one group of friends, or by one way of thinking or doing.  Which meant I also got to experience many different facets of life.

I am so grateful for that.  All those experiences opened my eyes to so much and many different ways of thinking and doing.  I believe this is why people sometimes view how I live as slightly out side of what is “normal”.

what is normal?Ugh what is normal anyway?  Who gets to really decide that?  I love the quote that says “normal is an illusion – what is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly”.  That’s often how I feel, not that I’m outside of normal…just that I appreciate my own sense of normal.

Perhaps we’d be better to use the word traditional?  Goodness knows I gave a few people heart attacks when I decided to move across the country and in less than 1 month was on the road to my new adventure.  Yup, sold my house, gave away tons of my things and just went for it.  Not the tradition in my family most certainly!

I knew my path led elsewhere and I was going to damn well figure out where that was.

Was I judged for this abrupt left turn?  Oh yes.  Did I care?  Not really.

Now that I’m building my career as an Empowerment and Transitional Coach, I’m seeing a lot of that stuff come up again.  Why would I leave teaching to do this?  What they are really saying is why would I risk this?  Risk is bad right?  <– just another judgment!,

The thing I’ve realized is when we judge things as good or bad, normal or weird…or whatever we only limit ourselves.  I’m not talking about when we have to decide for ourselves which direction to go. That’s different from judging.  That’s simply weighing our options to make a choice.

If I had bought into the judgments about moving from being a teacher to coaching, I’d have limited my own growth.  It’s my strong belief that we all have stepping-stones that contain lessons we need to learn.  Perhaps my passion for coaching and taking my message to the world now is simply because I’ve learned all I can from teaching.  My next step is Coaching.  That same passion that drove me and sustained me to be a teacher is now there for coaching.  I cannot ignore that.

I don’t understand how anyone can do that, although I do know that many do.

Once we make that choice we often start judging ourselves around it.  Imagine if we could just experience life and all it has to offer – including those who are so different from us – without having to label them?

I find it rather fascinating that one of the things I’ve heard about people who love their pets is one of the reasons they love them and feel so at ease is because a cat or dog or horse never judge them; not for a bad hair day, clothes, tears or doing a silly happy dance.  And yet, we haven’t figured that out for our people relationships? Hmmm.  mother-teresa-quotes

If we could finally realize the power in that then we’d be able to see more of the beauty in the souls of others.  I think we’d attempt more and do more and in truth – we’d live more.

My motto – life is short, eat dessert first!  It simply means to do what matters and what you love first!  If someone is judging your actions it really says more about where they are in their life than about where you are.  Love yourself and follow your passions.

Can you think of places you hold back in your life because you feel that you may be judged?  Or are you judging yourself?

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