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Archive for the ‘Goals’ Category

Some interesting news this week of the possibility of sonar showing where Amelia Earhart’s plane’s final resting place might be.amelia

Check out the news here.

As a young girl I was rather fascinated by her story.  A women who did what she loved, was brave and adventurous at a time when what she wanted to do was generally frowned upon by societal norms.  And yet, she captured the heart and minds of people everywhere.

In fact, this sort of thing happens more often then we realize.  The ‘thing’ being admiring those who buck the ‘norms’ to follow their hearts desires.  Those people who felt the ‘shouldn’t do that’ label put on them by society, but went ahead and did it anyway.

What’s that really telling us do you think?

Clearly as a society we need a sense of normalcy and expected rules and understandings.  This helps us all get a long in a sense.  And yet, when these ‘norms’ and ‘rules’ prevent some of us from reaching for the stars (literally in Amelia’s case) we applaud people for pushing past them.  It seems we value those who are brave enough to be who they are – no matter what anyone else thinks.

We WANT to see the underdog win!

So how does that translate to our every day life?

Seems to me, as I look, I see far too many people living small and stopping themselves from reaching out and taking risks out of fear of upsetting the normal balance of things.  They are living as though that feeling of shouldn’t is their own personal truth!

What would Amelia say about that I wonder?

What does your heart and spirit say about that?

We all do it.  In fact, I’ve been holding back on a few things in case I can’t get it right, or figure it out or mess up and oh goodness….what will ‘people’ think?  I believe I have to rephrase that to what would I think?

Suddenly, when you ask that question; everything shifts.

What do I think about holding back to please unknown masses?  I think that most of them would cheer me on anyway.  I think that those who wouldn’t aren’t who I want in my corner.

Let’s face it, we need to buck tradition sometimes to see what else is out there.  To stretch and realize that what might have worked (or not) before can change and we can learn to be better versions of ourselves at any time.

One of the things I’ve wanted to do for a while but let lie is to shift this blog over to a self hosted one. One where I can offer more and get more creative with what I put out there.  Hanging out here has been wonderful, amazing and at times breathtaking.  I have noticed how much more self hosted blogs have to offer though and how much  more creative they can be.  I told myself I don’t have time to learn all that I’ll need to know to do it, but you know…that is what I told myself before I started this blog too.

So, I’m off to see what I can learn about it and take some steps to streeeeeetch myself in that direction today.

Life is about learning, growing and loving the process.  It’s also about falling flat on your butt sometimes, but even that can offer a different perspective on things.  Or at least a different view.turtleflying

The courses I’ve been taking recently have helped me dig even deeper into my soul’s purpose and you’re going to see some stuff happening in the next while.  I can’t wait. 

What are you going to do today to break through that feeling of ‘shouldn’t’?

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Have you taken a good hard look at an acorn? They actually quite small aren’t they? I mean it’s a good size meal for a squirrel I guess but even those furry guys can handle a couple at a time.

In fact, my dog likes to knock them around at the park as if they were some sort of naturally occurring super ball. Yup, they bounce pretty good, but they roll really fast so that’s exciting. It’s cute when he tosses them up in the air and catches them.

But take a closer look. They have a pretty hard, smooth brown shell that is really quite lovely with an almost cute little cap.acorn-oak-nut

Now look up and around…you see that big tree they came from? Take a moment to really let it sink in that this little acorn has all the potential in the world to grow to those heights. Really kind of amazing isn’t it?

This is what your faith in yourself can be like.

For those of us who’ve been hurt, rejected and broken our faith in who we are can seem shattered and non-existent. But it’s not. It’s in every one of us; it might feel hidden or in hibernation but it’s there.

OAKtreeKind of like the potential for amazing things is hidden inside that little acorn.  Nurture that acorn just a little and it will burst forth with all the determination you could imagine to grow and thrive into a giant, towering oak.  This little acorn doesn’t even recognize its final goal, it just knows the next step is to take the chance and break through the shell it’s been protected by for so long.

You can do that too.  Look, a little faith in your hidden acorns; your faith in your own gifts and potential, can go a long way to starting to allow yourself to grow and thrive.  To peek through that crack in your shell to see that the sun is shining.

But like acorns these little nuggets of faith need to be nurtured.  They need to be brought out into the light, allowed to feel the rain and grow some roots.  And just like the acorn, this is a fragile process at first.  One that need gentleness, care and time.    You need to stretch and reach for the sun.

We have all the potential to thrive and grow into something even more amazing than we are today.  And like the acorn it takes persistence!

Find your little acorn of faith.  What can you do today to nurture it?  What little ways can you begin to starting to grow your own potential?  Little steps, small goals can add up to be quite an amazing thing don’t you agree?

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20132013 is feeling pretty exciting already.  I’m not sure why I just KNOW deep in my heart that big things are going to happen and HUGE shifts in my life are about to be made.

It’s got me all full of energy!

I’ve seen a TON of people asking the question this year about what your 2013 ‘focus word’ will be.  I guess this is the new way to get around making resolutions for the New Year.  There is a bit of backlash against those poor things but that’s another post altogether isn’t it?

So my word for 2013…hmm.  That’s not as easy as you might think.  I really wanted my word to be something super inspiring.  Okay I’ll be honest I really like to be different too. Lots of people were throwing out buzz words which is terrific if they work for you.  I like words like ‘limitless’ or ‘unstoppable’ but I had a couple of problems with this.

First, loads of people were employing them this year and that alone tends to make me back up.  I suppose someday I’ll have to explore why that is with me but for right now I’m just accepting it. 

Second, none of those words really hit home for me.  I like them, I find inspiration in hearing others use them as their focus word but it just didn’t stick for me.

Crap.  Now what?  It’s pretty bad if I can’t find a freakin word to choose right?  Seems like everyone else was right there with one ready to go. I really like the idea and had plans to create a wordle, screen saver etc etc…but I blanked.

It seems my ego was shouting a bit too loud.  My heart couldn’t quite be heard.

So, I had to shut my ego the heck up and open the doors to my own truth and light.  My ego hates to feel judged.  Had way to much of that when I was a kid and it’s still a bit of an issue I am working on. 

I meditated and listened.  My heart’s wishes were there, I just couldn’t quite grasp them.  Then a few nights ago I awoke.  My 4am thinking time.  Before I was even fully awake, my word came to me loud and clear. 

Expanding

Huh?  To be honest I checked again with a ‘are you sure that’s it?’ but yup. It feels good.  My ego isn’t too sure and really wants to clarify I’m NOT talking about my waistline but even my ego can see the truth in it.

My world, my understanding and my life…all expanding.

Can I just tell you that I know it’s part of my deepest truth, because even typing that last sentence brought so much emotion with it, I had a few tears.  I think perhaps expanding my joy and gratitude are almost too much for my little ol heart to take talking about but it will!  It will only grow stronger every time I do.

I tell you this partly because I like to share with all of you my own joys and partly for another reason.  To share the importance of introspective thought and how tough it can be to find the real truth.  I have barriers I needed to cross before I could see it clearly.  So do you.  Many will just jump on the bandwagon and throw out a ‘cool’ word but hardly give it a second thought.  This has been the problem with resolutions and goals for….well ever!  We don’t think deeply enough about them.

It has to matter deep down; it has to have a WHY. 

I’d love to hear what your focus word for 2013 is, and even your story as to your why.  I’d also love your ideas as to what to DO with these focus words to keep them in the forefront for 2013.

My biggest wish is not that you make perfect goals, and set out wonderful plans to reach them; although I’m happy to help you with that.  My biggest hope for you is that you are able to discover your own hearts deepest with and bring it out into the light.  To give it life and love so you can begin the journey towards your own joy.

Blessings,

sig

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What is faith? Not Faith – that’s easy.  She’s the checkout lady at my local grocery store.

As per my love of nit-picking at words I checked the online dictionary and got this.

faith

noun

1. confidence or trust in a person or thing: faith in another’s ability.
 
2. belief that is not based on proof: He had faith that the hypothesis would be substantiated by fact.
 
3. belief in God or in the doctrines or teachings of religion: the firm faith of the Pilgrims.
 
4. belief in anything, as a code of ethics, standards of merit, etc.: to be of the same faith with someone concerning honesty.
 
5. a system of religious belief: the Christian faith; the Jewish faith.
 
I also found this:
 
Idioms In faith, in truth; indeed: In faith, he is a fine lad.
 
AND this:
 
– strong or unshakeable belief in something, especially without proof or evidence.
– any set of firmly held principles or beliefs
– allegiance or loyalty, as to a person or cause.
– bad faith; insincerity or dishonesty
 
as well:
Archaic; indeed; really (also in the phrases by my faith , in faith)  <– I kind of like this. Might have to bring back this phrase! lol 
Seriously…that’s a lot of stuff to sift through. 
 
Faith is definitely a contextual word isn’t it?  I think it’s an interesting concept.  It comes from the French feid , from Latin fidēs – both of which basically mean trust or confidence.
 
For some, faith might be what allows them to believe in God without questioning.   The reason I started thinking about this is because it also seems to be a way around admitting you don’t know the answers and are uncomfortable with that.  Having faith and admitting you don’t understand do not have to be on opposite sides..they can co-exist.
 
What is interesting is when you ask people if they have faith in themselves.  Trust and confidence even when you have not a shred of proof that you can or are what you believe you can be.  I think we have the hardest time having faith in ourselves.
 
I listened to a teaching call the other day and it was about playing a bigger game in life.  Lots of reasons we hold ourselves back were talked about.  This one was not.  But I think many of our excuses, reasons and fears stem from a lack of faith.
 
Recently I was able to finally stand up and say that I wanted to begin to speak to bigger groups of people.  I have no idea how this will happen or turn out but I have faith in myself.  I choose to believe and trust that I can follow that dream and do something grand with it.  I have no proof that I can do this – not yet anyway.  But I have faith.  Trust me when I tell you a number of years ago I would have simply kept this to myself and never would have had the guts to say it out loud. I had NO faith in my own abilities. I would have shored up your faith in yourself, in a heartbeat;supported and pumped YOU up – but couldnt’ do it for myself.
 
I realize now that this isn’t a life I want to spend only for others.   I have gifts, just like you, that need to be shared and my heart feels this is the right way to go for me.  Faith in that is a bit scary at first.  I’m beginning to think however that this is where the keys to a lot  of dreams coming to reality lie.  It really is one of the big keys to a better life.  Faith in you is super important.
 
Do you think you have faith in you?  Have you always? 

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Do you have one of those bucket lists?  You know..the wish list, the life list…whatever you want to call it.

I do.  Only I don’t pay it all that much mind from day-to-day.  I have big goals and things I’m working on and seem to get distracted by those dreams.

Still every time I notice my bucket list I get very emotional. These are real to me.  Pinterest has made it loads of fun to create this list. I love visuals!

I started thinking about why I have this list if I don’t pay enough attention to it.  What’s going on there? 

Interestingly enough, I came up with a lot of excuses…or reasons? Nah..they were excuses.

Let’s see.  A couple of favorites that came to play?

  • there is only so much time in a day
  • and just who is going to pay for all this?
  • can’t just leave everything and go off like a nutter (yes you can, I’ve done it before! lol)
  • what to do first?

I kept picking at this one and realized that while many things might take some planning and maybe won’t happen today; they also won’t happen ever if I don’t mind them and start making some steps towards them!

Okay, while it’s true I can’t do everything in one day I can certainly prioritize and start the process of getting things underway. 

So what’s the problem?  Well first of all I needed to work though these questions I think.  Then it hit me…shoot.  So much of this was fear talking one more time.  Once I opened that door, I could hear so much more of what my heart and soul were really saying.  I heard things like “what if I never make it and all that planning and work amount to nothing?  I think we know the answer to that…’so what?’  Some of it was just simply fear of moving forward to the unknown.

One of the biggest things I have on my list is travel, travel and more travel.  I struggle with travelling alone since my car accident.  I suppose that makes sense BUT it won’t get me to those experiences.  Time to figure out some things around that!  I don’t want my list to be just wishes in the wind.

So, how often do you plan for things on your bucket list?  How or what do you do to make the dreams come down to reality?  I’d love to know how you handle this!

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In the post Do This Instead I mentioned 5 things to consider when you think about how to improve your life, mindset and disposition.

“He who has so little knowledge of human nature as to seek happiness by changing anything but his own disposition will waste his life in fruitless efforts.”
~Samuel Johnson

The five things discussed were;

  1. Metacognition
  2. Be curious
  3. Living from Wonder
  4. Persist
  5. Laugh from your belly

A pretty good list if you ask me.  In fact I think a number of the comments agreed.  Good news! I have a few more to share with you.

Before I do that however, I want to mention that in no way do I suggest you should or could go ahead and simply change all of these to perfect your life over night.  Goodness..that’s just crazy talk!  What I suggest is you take a look at these and imagine where you could open up to possibilities of change or growth in your life.  Pick one to focus on and go from there.

You can make goals (yup even SMART goals) around each of these to give yourself some focus and purpose.  You spent a life time establishing habits, you can’t expect to simply exchange them for new ones in one fell swoop.  If you need some help there…let me know at info@rivendllcoaching.com !

With no further ado:

1. Learn to listen.  Yes, yes I know. Most of us have perfectly decent ears that work but in all truth most of us suck as good listeners.  Being a good listener takes focus and practice. We should strive first to understand before we worry about being understood.  It takes a fair bit of mental energy devoted to another person’s thoughts and ideas to be a good and empathetic listener. 

2. Take Responsible Risks.   Remember when I told you for one month I was going to say ‘yes’ to every opportunity that came my way..even if it was a bit scary?  Well in that yes month I did take some personal risks and it really paid off.  However, they were responsible risks.  I mean let’s face facts; if you had suggested I jump off a bridge I’d probably have said no anyway. It wouldn’t be a responsible risk.  There is a difference.  Being adventuresome doesn’t mean being stupid.  Take the level of comfort and competence you already have to the edge and see what awaits you.

3. Think about it upside down.  Now if you can stand on your head and think about things go ahead; please enjoy the view. I, however, will simply use this expression to mean that you need to be flexible in your thinking and practice seeing things from a different perspective.  Innovation comes from trying a novel idea.  When you generate options and alternatives you let go of your obsession with a specific outcome and might just end up with something pretty freakin amazing.   So, practice asking yourself  “what else is possible here?”

4. Live from Compassion.  Seriously, if you didn’t know I’d put this on in the list you haven’t followed me very long.  When you  make choices and decisions with compassion as the base for them life is kinder, gentler, more peaceful and much more loving.  Keep in mind that having compassion in mind in the way you treat yourself is also important.  You are, after all, setting a precedent for how others act towards you.  You want to get rid of a lot of crap and negativity in your life…this is a perfect place to start.

5. Remain open to Continuous Learning.  There is no time in the human condition that we should be done with learning.  There is so much to understand, explore and be thrilled by.  When you stop learning and entertaining new ideas and ways of seeing things…it is there that you cease to live and simply exist.  Accept that there is much we don’t know, much we can learn and go out to find it.  Throw your pride and need to be ‘right’ out the window and become open and aware that ‘you do not know’ and this is perfectly okay.  This will stop you from fighting  life’s lessons and instead bring peaceful acceptance of all that life offers you.

6. Choose to have found your bliss.  Right here, right now is all we really have.  Yesterday is the past and is gone, tomorrow is an unfulfilled promise.  Today is it, this very moment.  Please lovelies…don’t waste it. There is happiness, joy and love to be found even in the worst of circumstance;  if only you will open your eyes and heart to it.  You have to choose to see it.  The more bliss you choose to focus on, the more you will find.  It’s the Law of Attraction lovelies..and it works.

Let me know what you think of these six habits and the first five. 
Which ones jump out at you?  Made you think?  Disagree with me on any?
What are you going to work  on…and how?

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Got hope?

Hope:  the wish or desire for a future that is good.  The expectation that a wish will be fulfilled.

I know  it’s here somewhere right?  We all have hopes, wishes and dreams. We all have secrets wishes and we all have dreams that we shout to the world.

We all also have those certain someones around who like to squash them.  Those people kinda suck. True, they might even think they are doing us a ‘favor’ or ‘telling it like it is’.  At least that is how they justify their negative output.  They also make it really hard to stay strong because fulfilling our dreams and wishes can be hard sometimes.  It can be a lot of work and there are more often than not a few setbacks and more than one disappointment along the way.

What we need is someone who can offer a hand up when we fall flat on our face

Someone who nudges you to get going and says ‘yes you can’ instead of telling  you the million scenarios where you stumble.

Someone who says” this is going to be a challenge…let’s kick it’s ass”…rather than “oh, that’s going to be really hard..forget it.”

Which person are you to others?  Or for that matter to yourself?

Don’t suck.  Never steal someones hope as it might be the only thing they have right now.  This includes your own. 

Imagine all that would change in the world if only we offered support instead of concern?  Imagine if instead of offering criticism alone, we offered solutions to the possible problems?

This world needs hope, it needs dreamers and it need people to lift those up and want to see them succeed. We need to believe that we can make things better, we can reach our goals and see our dream come to life. 

Listen to yourself next time someone is sharing with you.  Listen to yourself next time you hear from that voice inside your own head who tells you all the reasons you can’t. Tell that voice to shut the hell up cuz you’re doing it anyway! 

I know all about this.  I have had a lot of naysayers in my life.  Many of you who follow my blog and other social networks know one of my goals is at least once a month,  to do something I’ve never done. Something that scares the crap out of me.  Well so far I’ve been doing this and having a blast doing it. 

However, April is making me nervous…really nervous.  I’ve made some things start rolling that are almost as nerve-wracking as they are exciting!  I invited some amazing people I know to share in my idea and it’s coming to fruition.  My idea was to be able to share with each other life lessons, experiences that made big shifts for us personally.  We all spend so much time fighting our battles with our own life until we learn how to create the kind of life we want to live.  We need to share these lessons!  After all, why learn it if you can’t share it  right?

So Coffee with Soul was born.  Of course…the closer it gets the more my insider voice..my saboteur kicks up the volume.  My hope? That this tele series makes a difference for someone. That we can touch some lives.  The same reason I went out and got myself certified as a coach! 

My fears?  That I will suck as a host, that my talk will be lame and that the technical side of it will win (as in I won’t be able to handle it).  Well let’s face it. The technical stuff happens good or bad and I can only do my best. I plan to have a test run and go from there.  The other stuff…well I know how to deal with the stress, I  know how to practice and the people I’m working with are already freakin amazing!  I hear that voice and do it anyway!

Am I scared? Terrified!  BUT I’m going to go ahead and do it anyway.  I have hope.  I have people who remind me that I can do this and who will join me in celebration and laugh with me at my mistakes.  They will keep me on track towards success if I start to stumble. 

Life is good when you have hope.  Life is better when you have people you love support you in that hope.  Life is amazing when you can love yourself and learn to support your own hopes and dreams.

Let’s move towards the light and love of lifting each other up.

 

 

 

ps.  I’d love for you to join us for our tele series…if you are interested to find out how to stop fighting your life and make it fabulous you can learn more about how to register here.  The first speaker is April 9th, 2012.

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