Lately I have been moving towards different goals. In the process I’ve been discovering more and more about my true self. While this is very liberating and at the same time occasionally scary I have noticed something new.
I have been teetering on the brink. The question I struggle with is the brink of what?
I can only explain in mundane words what I have been feeling but here goes.
Imagine with me for a moment. There is an edge I can’t quite see over. Be it a cliff or hill..whatever. Moving closer brings with it excitement and it is also a bit scary. When I get too close I pull back to the safety of where I was to take a breath…perhaps just a little closer than before.
I can see the edge and the blue skies beyond it but I don’t know what it holds.
I know, somewhere deep in my soul that I need to walk over to the edge and leap. I know it. But fear is a tricky thing isn’t it?
What will I find? I am not sure but I believe I am becoming me, but even more so. Does that make sense? Ha! Sometimes it doesn’t quite make sense to me.
I am reminded of my good friend Deone’s post comparing his journey to the butterfly. I actually haven’t thought of that post for a while. For some reason THAT was the post that showed up when I came to my blog this day. A little whisper from the universe to move me along? Perhaps that is what is happening? Perhaps I am ready to transform, to leave or maybe build a cocoon and grow my wings.
It’s funny. Not long ago I would have said I already did that. That certain things which happened taught me so much about my own power, my own light and my place in this world.
I honestly used to wonder what people did when they got it figured out. Seriously. I thought…once you learn how to meditate or be calm what do you do then?
Well, I can tell you that with every pair of wings you have grown; with every sky you have learned to soar in there is more. There is so much more. You can’t always see what is above until you can rise up.
There is a story about how when you are on a train and it goes into a tunnel and gets dark you don’t jump off. Instead you know to trust the driver to get you through the tunnel and back into the light.
My friends…you drive your own train. You can’t help but come across a tunnel once in a while. Trust in your ability to find the light at the other end. Some tunnels are longer than others but they all lead somewhere. On the other side…the light might just be a little brighter. You’re light might be a little brighter. Things might just fit more perfectly then they ever have before.
Sooner or later I’m going to take the leap over that edge. I can see the glimmer of light from the end of the tunnel I’ve been travelling in. I know I will get there. You’ll see. I hope you find your next level of growth just as exciting and scary and that you too find the perfect time to go take a look at what you can become when you trust.
Such beautiful words! It’s super exciting to be along for the ride with you, Bonnie. You continually inspire me. You make me realize how exciting it is that there’s so much more in store! =)
I know the exact feeling that you speak about in this article. I think faith and patience are important in moving to the next level of growth. Just believe that all things are happening in perfect order.
My mom always tell me that the obstacles are bigger in our head. When we start climbing them, they crumble too quick!
Hopefully you are blessed with all things wonderful! 🙂
Your mom sounds like a wise lady Hajra! I wish the same for you sweetie! xoxoxo
It is so wonderful to know that you are still growing and blooming and moving to your higher self. Remember. it’s all a journey and adventure so ENJOY
Hopefully, that is not the fiscal cliff you are examining- with the blue skies overhead and the trashheap below!
Seriously, though, it’s best to obtain as much information as possible, so that one’s goals can be met- as we accelerate (the scientific definition- a change in velocity or direction is an acceleration; not the vernacular one)… But, not so long as to render the brink to be an obstacle.
Goodness! I never thought of it as a fiscal cliff – that sound scary! It’s more of a personal growth thing. Jumping off and falling into me.
Maybe it’s because I have 7 kids, and I am a midwife, but for me these feelings are like giving birth. I know something in me is waiting to be born, and I do not know what it is, but I literally feel the need to push sometimes. Your whatever, that new part of you, will be born when it is ready. In the meantime, relax and keep breathing! I loved this!
What am amazing way to look at it! Thank you for that! And 7 kids! How wonderful 🙂