I wrote a blog a while ago that got a lot of amazing responses. Ones that opened up new learning for me too. The blog was about whether we can or should have compassion for ‘bad’ people.
Today’s blog isn’t far off that, but instead focuses more on how we can have compassion for the people in our life whom we care about and who are doing really well.
Why? Because I hear people talking about it. I should say trying NOT to talk about it. They don’t want to admit the feelings they are having around someone else’s success. We all know this feeling…jealously.
Even when we really truly are happy for the other person those jealous feelings can creep in to our minds can’t they? I mean, often we look and think about ‘why them and not me?’.
Yuck. What a crappy feeling for us to deal with. Still, as I have said before – all feelings have value and should be acknowledged as valid. Squashing them down only gives them time to grow and no one wants that right?
So how can compassion help us with that? I know most of us think of compassion as pity but in fact it is so much more than that. It’s love. Pure and simple. Love, love love!
You see, wanting what someone else has is fine. We all do this. That’s not what jealousy is. Jealousy is when we start to have feelings of resentment build up towards the other person and our own situation. Resentment means we are taking someone else’s happiness or success as a personal affront. When we start to take it personally we are really directing our negative energy inward and creating resentment.
Resentment is a powerful and negative energy. It thrives on that inner dialogue of ‘I’m not good enough’.
Compassion can help this because it takes the personal issues out and brings love into the situation.
Compassion is inherently filled with love and one of the most powerful forces on earth. (Tweet this!)
At its simplest I suppose you can use compassion to remind yourself that even though we see this person getting what we might want, their life has its problems too. Don’t kid yourself, I imagine there are people who look at your life and feel the same way. But let’s face it – no one has it perfect right? We all have our struggles and when we keep that in mind we have an easier time feeling joy for others rather than envy or worse, jealously and resentment.
The other thing that is seldom talked about is showing some compassion for ourselves. We, as a society, are so freaking hard on ourselves and it leads to so many mental and physical health issues along with playing a really small game in life.
Everyone is on a different path with new things to learn.
Comparing your story to someone else’s is like comparing apples to Volkswagens. Not even in the same parking lot. (Tweet This)
So, yeah! Compassion trumps jealously!
Now it’s YOUR turn! In the comments below tell me of a time that you overcame jealousy and resentment for the better – and how you did it.