This might be a bit of a rant today, but I’ll try to contain myself. lol
I would have never made a good poker player or a spy for that matter. I cannot hide how I feel very well at all. Most of the time I’m thinking that’s a good thing, although it does tend to cause me to get into some trouble now and again. Okay, probably more often than I’d care to admit. 😉 To be honest, I’ve come to appreciate that about myself. It helps me maintain my integrity because I just am sucky at not being honest.
The thing is I can’t stand the BS, or games or political correctedness. I really don’t deal well with all that nonsense. I look at that kind of crap as a barrier to living well and living authentically. I also think that we buy into this ‘stuff’ and it is a big, a very big, part of what is wrong in our society. Have we lost our integrity and ability to stand firm?
The worst part? We play these same nonsense cards with ourselves. I have many people who tell me they want to live authentically and perhaps in that moment they really do. But then…well they don’t. It may not even be that they do something opposite of what they believe in…they just do or say nothing.
This isn’t living authentically.
We have to stop being afraid to be wrong in someones eyes. It’s okay if not everyone likes us, agrees with us or approves of us. You know what? BS is still BS even if we all agree on it by not standing up and disagreeing. The truth is still truth if we worry about calling it out and someone else doesn’t like it or it is hard to look at.
- We ignore our money issues instead of facing them and learning to live within what we have and looking the bottom line in the face.
- We accept what others say as gospel instead of asking questions because we want to belong and ‘not rock the boat’
- I’ve seen many people walk by and pretend ‘not to see’ or ‘not to hear’
- To often we think these gurus have it right when they may not even walk the talk they are giving
- We hide our hurt and pain and even our joy
- We often ignore our hearts and guts instead of having faith in our own wisdom
How to live authentically?
Learn who you are. Live it consciously and on purpose.
It isn’t a part-time job you can schedule around the other stuff in your life! I am well aware it’s not always easy in the moment but it will be easier and happier afterwards.
Don’t get me wrong. I slip-up too sometimes, but I strive to make conscious choice so I can be true to me. Sometimes it’s scary, sometimes its really hard and I have to push myself but when I do I usually find two interesting things happen. First, no one usually flips out (I am pretty good at tact I think lol) and often times it seems to open up the gate for others to step forward and be open about how they feel as well. Second, I feel lighter, happier and free. Authentic living truly does bring back to you the peace and happiness we crave.
Live YOU in every moment. Especially the hard ones.
[…] know I’ve written before about cutting out the BS but it still amazes me how often we do it and don’t even realize that we are trying to pull […]
[…] August 24, 2011 Last post I had a little rant about people and the BS we put ourselves through. You can check that out here. […]
Hi Bonnie,
Everyone should read this most. It’s not so much a rant but a reminder that we have to be true to ourselves. It’s never easy but at the end of the day, it’s living with integrity.
It’s hard not to listen to what others says about you and that’s why I have been often called strange or unique (positive sense) and I love it. LOL: I wouldn’t want to be anyone else.
Sometimes, there are decisions I have to make that are hard and while it is at that moment as you may not live up to the expectations of someone else, I am usually happier for being true to me.
Great post and beautiful reminder which we all need!
I freakin’ love this blog post! We are kindred spirits in this. Yes, I don’t always get it right…sometimes I slip up…but then I take responsibility and clean up the mess. Yes, yes to living authentically “isn’t a part-time job you can schedule around the other stuff in your life!” (Oh, what an amazing highlight.)
Great rant…more of a call to action, really. This is how we make a difference in the world…one person at a time…creating conscious choice in our own lives instead of looking outside us and pointing the finger. Thank you for putting this out there, Bonnie.
Thanks Tambre. I love how your comments show the fire in your thoughts! It’s interesting because I used to be very conflicted over this issue as I really felt alone. I honestly thought something was wrong with ME because I wasn’t buying into a lot of the nonsense out there. One day I just stepped up and I discovered I wasn’t alone. Just as this post’s comments are showing we aren’t alone. I hope that more people can find the courage to discover this.
Bonnie you have blogged about something that is near and dear to my hear. I have become a person who tells it like it is and people that don’t like it can just go elsewhere. I have found that people don’t hate me cause I express how I feel, those that do exclude me from their circles and I am okay with that.
You and Janine Ripper must have been on the same wave length at the time you both wrote your posts because she blogged something similar about being true to oneself.
I got tired of being someone I wasn’t to please people that didn’t deserve my efforts. Now I do what I feel is right for me and for my son and I am good with that.
I could go on and on here LOL. You really hit a nerve with me on this subject.
Isn’t it funny Joe how once we let go of the worry and need for everyone’s approval we can get to know ourselves better? Learning to be open and honest and coupling that with compassion and kindness I think is the hardest and best lessons I’ve had this lifetime so far. I’m still not perfect by any means but it’s the trying that matters I think.
Great post, Bonnie!
The hardest part of living this life is recognizing that sometimes being alone on the ledge is a heck of a lot better than being in the throes of a crowd. Until one realizes they are part of the problem and not the solution. Still, we all love company.
The question is whether the company is worth more than one’s integrity…
You are so right Roy..we all do love company! The thing is the company is so much better when you attract those who are as authentic as you are and really do believe and accept you. Facades are not real company..just breathing entities who mutter platitudes. I can get more authentic company from my cat lol
I’m curious about what you think? As someone I’m sure values his own integrity; is your integrity ever worth more than company?
Bonnie you have integrity because of sharing your authentic thoughts and advice today. Hiding your true self is something I do not understand. So I may be like you in that sense, where I hope others are authentic and true as I would be.
I must admit, I think the older we get, our maturity teaches us how to react or not react which is driven by our life experiences.
Thank you again for sharing your wonderful thoughts and inspiring advice on this topic.
Hi Lynn
I love when you stop by and leave your thoughts. You have added a lot of wisdom to the coversation here. Thank you for pointing out that maturity and experince do move us along to being able to live as who we truly are. This was a very good point and I appreciate you bringing it to the table.
I think part of the issue is that we need to hold ourselves, and everyone else in our live, accountable and responsible for their own actions. And, in order to live authentically, we need to set clear boundaries. I have no problem now with creative expression for ALL of my feelings…especially anger. It has to move in me and through me to keep me grounded and in the flow! As we continue to evolve and grow, and wake up and be authentic, we see a lot of wishy washy people out there!
Being authentic also means being compassionate, loving and kind. And learning to be a Silent Witness and observe. I have come to realize that we are all “becoming” authentic at different rates, and I can really see when someone is living a push-button life! I just “share” what I know and maybe it will help them be more “free to be.”
Part of me wants to be like Cher in Moonstruck when she slaps the guy and says, “Snap out of it!” But, that would not be very nice 🙂
And then I realize that not everyone is living as transparently as I am, and they would not have a clue yet. I just keep on being me! I know being authentically who I am will attract the right people to me, and sometimes it seems to be like the flame that attracts the moth! LIGHT!
Great rant, Bonnie 🙂
Thanks for your comments Marcia. You make a very good point when you say we are all becoming our authentic selves at our own rates. Although I agree with you on that I even more so agree with you about the Cher comment lol If only it were that easy to show people what we are talking about!
Now you got to know you hit my hot button. Matter of fact posted similar over the last year. The BS that gets spotted by people who refuse to face up to the fact that what they are doing may just be wrong is ANNOYING to say the least. Let’s get the message out and maybe one day the authentic people will outbalance the creeps
Roberta…I love that I hit your hot button! Talking about things that mean something does that to people. Authentic living is what people say they want but don’t always want to put the effort in and take the risks that come. It is so worth it though so ya! Let’s get this message out and work on making it the norm 🙂