Posts Tagged ‘success’

Hey, remember back when you were a kid and $5 or $10 dollars seemed like a freakin fortune? Imagine getting that excited now for what can’t even buy a meal deal at McDonald’s. Do they still call them that? Hmmm, I might be dating myself quite a bit with this post.kidmoney

Or how about when you first graduated from high school. Yes, for some of us this was a while ago. I remember thinking that one day I’ll have a job that pays me a whopping $35,000 or even $40,000! I’ll be rich!

Mind you I also thought renting an apartment would show how ‘grown up’ and sophisticated I was. *Ahem…I may have been misled on that too.

The thing is it’s all about perspective. $5 to me now doesn’t seem like it would go very far and I have no qualms about handing it to a homeless person or to a kid collecting for charity. But, to that homeless person it might be the difference between eating today or not. It might mean being outside all night or having enough to buy a coffee to sit in that all night diner during the darkest and coldest part of the night.

Perspective is everything.

Our version of success comes from our perspective. For my high school self success meant graduating from university as a certified teacher. That was it, my everything. For other people I know, success meant their babies were born healthy.

It’s all about perspective.

So how can we know when we actually successful? Well lovelies…you have to decide what that means for YOU. Just like I talk about in my book Building your Beautiful Light, you can’t keep leaning on the expectation of society and expect to be fulfilled and happy. Society tends to skew things and generalize things and ignore personalities and well…that fact that life happens.

And then, you have to stand in that truth. If making $40,000, but being home when your kids are done school is success then love that. Someone somewhere is also striving for that success. If speaking your message through writing a book is that makes a difference in lives is your idea of success – get typing! Love it, LIVE it.

Remember you can’t compare because no one has the same perspective as you do. That is one of the more complex parts of life and also one of the more beautiful.

One last thing, just like when you grew up and realized that $5 won’t get you much in the grown up world don’t be afraid to allow your perspective to change when need be. I was successful in that I because a teacher, worked as a teacher and loved being a teacher.  At some point my perspective changed and I wanted something else.  Which is why I’m now Coaching.  Oh and that homeless man may one day get a job and a home. When this happens his perspective will change and he might one day realize that $5 is easy to give away too.



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As I was laying in bed early one morning this week, well before the alarm was to wake me, I simply let my thoughts flow and go where they wanted.

I tried to welcome the thoughts as friends and just observe them.  I say tried because I got rather caught up in on particular thought.

I realized that life is a lot like stepping up to bat in baseball.

I supposed that in this perfect (?) analogy Life would be the guy on the pitcher mound.  I don’t mean to imply that Life is trying to strike you out so much as Life is the one throwing you the curve balls; along with fast ball, gentle tosses, spit balls, lobs and occasionally nails you one in the arm. 

It works because when you step up to home plate, with that bat in hand for the first time; you suck…no offense, we all did.  We had no skills yet, no experience.  We were awkward and we all know that one guy, who forgot to run to first base when he finally connected to the ball!

There is a lot of layers of truth in that last statement.  Some people still can’t recognize what to do when they finally hit the ball!

The thing is some of us had fun anyway.  We lost, we fell down and occasionally we struck out.  We sometimes got called with a bad play or a foul ball.  Sometimes we hit a good one and got on base.  Once in a blue moon we may even have hit it out of the park…or far enough to get a home run anyway.  We all did. 

We also learned that having a team to support us makes a world of difference.  You can’t play a good game by yourself.  A coach, team mates…they all make the game happen.

However, there are many who shrugged and decided it was easier to just be part of the crowd on the bleachers.   Some didn’t see the possibilities that might come with practice; or perhaps they just didn’t see the value in the effort.  Some were told by others they could never make it to the ‘big leagues’ and believed it; so they stopped trying.

Then there are those who kept going.  They played for fun at first sure; but in doing so they built up an affinity for the game.  They learned to judge when to bunt, where the ball was going and when to steal third. 

Did they screw up?  You bet they did.  They got hurt, they were embarrassed and had slumps where I am certain they questioned everything.  But when you know your purpose, your goal you can persist through those times.  You have faith in what you are doing.

They kept their eye on the ball; literally and metaphorically.  Focus,drive, practice and more practice.  Sounds a lot like how life works doesn’t it?

In life you have to keep your eye on the ball and keep swinging.  In doing so you will eventually be able to predict with some accuracy (most days anyway) where the ball will go when you hit it. And you know what I love to say about that.  When you know where you’re going you know when you get there!

You can still get surprised by pitches but you will learn to better and faster adjust on the fly.  You also learn that life sometimes strikes you out and that’s okay. 

What do you think?  Let me know in the comments below or leave me a comment on my fan page.

 Am I right about players and the crowd? Are there more ways life is like heading to bat?

Keep Your Eye On the Ball

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There is no other basic lesson around mindset that you need to know or that I can teach until you understand that your mindset precedes your level of achievement.  Every single time.

It doesn’t really matter what activity you are taking on.  Your mindset plays a very big role in your level of achievement in that task and how you think you performed it.

If you begin something; be it an everyday minor activity or a brand new, exciting role; your mindset plays a big part in how you begin and you will end. 

Good or bad; your mindset has a hand in it all. 

Mr Napoleon Hill had this one bang on.  When you think about it and believe in it you can achieve just about anything you set out to do.  And the opposite is also true. When your belief system tells you that ‘failure is where you’ll end up anyway’ and that ‘it will be hard’ and on and on…you begin to believe this to be the truth. It’s call a self-fulfilling prophecy (You can learn more about that in my book Shine On!)

And this is all independent of any sort of reality. The important thing to understand here is that you can alter what is true for you with your determined belief. 

Most people I think believe that a good attitude will make things easier and a bad attitude will make things seem even more yucky than they perhaps have to be.  I rarely get anyone challenging that.  However, I get good and challenged on the deeper understanding of how powerful our mindset and belief system are.

The most common jab I get?  Well, if that’s true can’t I just really believe I can fly and just start flapping my arms?  Or something along those lines anyway.

I’ll be honest, I first thought these same kinds of things when I started my own journey into my spirit.  It took some time and reflection and I realized someone already DID that

Remember the Wright brothers?  It took them 4 years of trying, experimenting and failing (yup..failing) before they had their belief rewarded with that first delicious success of a flight! The flight lasted only 20 seconds and went 120 feet.  Not much by today’s standards but amazing none the less.

My point is…yes you can believe and learn to fly.  Maybe not by flapping your arms…but you can certainly learn to fly.  But first, you have to choose to believe you can!

Share with me a time when your beliefs either held you back or propelled you forward.  Hey! Shifts happen!

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I have become a Seeker.  It’s strange, the realization and how it arrived. 

I was looking for the spelling of a word for a completely different article and was flipping through my well-worn dictionary. (Yes I  love my books…dictionary included).  To be honest I lost track of the word I was actually looking for.  FOUR times my page flipped open and/or flipped page to the page with the word ‘seeker’ on it.

It was underlined.  Not that I remember doing that.  Still, it was an old book, second-hand no less. 

Now I’ll be completely honest with you here.  I have one of those big old library dictionary (circa 1969 –>it’s older than me!) where the origin of the word, synonyms and such are all included.  I love it.   And I’m really, REALLY easily distracted when I start looking around in there.  I love language.  It’s powerful. 

So, when the book kept pointing out the word I stopped to look.  Seek or Seeker. 

  • to try to discover, to endeavor
  • to move to or go to
  • to try
  • to explore, make a search or investigation
  • to inquire for; request

A sudden realization struck me. THIS is ME.  This is what I have been doing for the last 6 years in a purposeful way. 

I’m not exactly sure how it happened.  Looking  backwards of course is always easiest isn’t it?  I look on my past and see that I always had the inclination.  I wasn’t, and still am not, comfortable conforming as I’ve mentioned before.  I crave being different.  I have always looked for ‘more’; for what else is out there. I can’t really say that I pursued it on a spiritual level very strongly however.  Fear…it kept me somewhat in my ‘place’ as I knew it to be.

My, times have changed. 

At some point, I guess I just became sick and tired of holding myself back.  I was discontented, spiritless and tuned out.  My spirit felt caged by expectations and doubt.

When I did try to live the life I had, I wasn’t happy and my relationships were, for the most part, what I call ‘surface relationships’.  Not the deep connections I craved.   The whispers from the universe, that there was something more than this, were too strong to ignore.  My heart ached to find what that was. 

At some point, I almost unwittingly, set out and begin my own journey; before I really even understood I was on one.

And I emerged a Seeker.  A seeker of my own truth, a seeker of light and connection. 

In doing so, I realized I could help others along the way. 

These realizations have made my struggles with all that has, and is, changing, so much lighter.  It excites me to have understood this.  I do not have to have all the answers because I am in a place where my purpose is seeking them. 

I will continue to explore, inquire and seek; and this will be enough.   I have begun to understand the purpose of this journey. 

Some people look for fame and fortune, some seek God or spirituality, or understanding; some only want to exist in contentment and familiarity of the life they are given.  

For some, like me, there comes a time when we can no longer be content to accept what is.  It can begin after a traumatic event that opens a wound we need healed.  Or like me it can be something that has always been there. We feel called deeply in our core to find the ‘what else’ that there is, we seek our own truth that will feed our soul and spirit.  It feels almost like a home coming to realize this is my path and what it means.  Peaceful.  I know what I am about.

I am a Seeker.

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Benjamin Franklin once said that “energy and persistence conquer all things.”

That guy knew a very big secret to success and to happiness. It isn’t just about talent or skill set.  It more often is about persistence.

This is true in every aspect of life.  Ever heard the saying that overnight success takes 10 years?  It’s really bang on. We can learn the skills needed if we continue putting the energy into it. There are so many examples of people who are successful who were not especially talented, educated or extra smart.  They found success through persistence and dogged determination.

I know this is going to hurt some people’s sensitivities but sometimes it needs to be said.  This is so often the point where I see people struggling when they come to me and say that they can’t figure out why success eludes them. 

What do I hear? Things like…

  • it’s really hard
  • I slipped off the wagon so now it’s over
  • I don’t know how
  • no one told me
  • I made a plan and it didn’t work
  • this wasn’t how it was supposed to be

It’s really hard to watch the disappointment and frustration on people’s faces when I feel the need to bluntly explain some life lessons.  Please take what I’m about to say with the love and care that is intended.  

Lesson:  Success rarely hits you on your first foray out.  You are foolish to think you can do everything in one shot simply because you made a plan.

Okay but here’s the good news.  You did find success…just perhaps not the one you were looking for.   Just because you planned for huge success in one area doesn’t mean it will work out.  Still, you gained valuable insights, skills and learned more of that which you needed to know.

This is where persistence comes into play.  You’ve got to keep going, adjusting the plan and perhaps even the goals. 

 This is true all over the place.  It’s true for business, career, relationships, healthy living, wellness…heck learning to ride a bike!  You name it, if you give up because the first try didn’t work you’d still be stuck crawling around on all fours. 

Nothing is as powerful as persistence.  If you have passion for something you will be determined to persist. 

One of my favorite metaphors for persistence comes from the story of how a small stream can, over time wear away solid stone.  Water would not seem at first to be able to change the way that the hard stone looks but through time, persistence and movement it most certainly can.  In fact the water’s movement shapes entire landscapes…all through persistence.

Have you ever noticed a flower or bit of grass growing in a strange place?  How about through rock?  How do you suppose a fragile flower manages to fragment rock? You know…persistance. 

Keep this in mind next time you are feeling frustrated that success did not show up for this round of effort. 

In the confrontation between the stream and the rock,the stream always wins – not through strength, but through persistence.”

And may you find the pleasure that comes from the lessons learned by simply pushing forth and staying determined.  Every flower, every person will bloom when they are ready, but not before they do the work to find a way to feel the warmth of the sun.


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Got hope?

Hope:  the wish or desire for a future that is good.  The expectation that a wish will be fulfilled.

I know  it’s here somewhere right?  We all have hopes, wishes and dreams. We all have secrets wishes and we all have dreams that we shout to the world.

We all also have those certain someones around who like to squash them.  Those people kinda suck. True, they might even think they are doing us a ‘favor’ or ‘telling it like it is’.  At least that is how they justify their negative output.  They also make it really hard to stay strong because fulfilling our dreams and wishes can be hard sometimes.  It can be a lot of work and there are more often than not a few setbacks and more than one disappointment along the way.

What we need is someone who can offer a hand up when we fall flat on our face

Someone who nudges you to get going and says ‘yes you can’ instead of telling  you the million scenarios where you stumble.

Someone who says” this is going to be a challenge…let’s kick it’s ass”…rather than “oh, that’s going to be really hard..forget it.”

Which person are you to others?  Or for that matter to yourself?

Don’t suck.  Never steal someones hope as it might be the only thing they have right now.  This includes your own. 

Imagine all that would change in the world if only we offered support instead of concern?  Imagine if instead of offering criticism alone, we offered solutions to the possible problems?

This world needs hope, it needs dreamers and it need people to lift those up and want to see them succeed. We need to believe that we can make things better, we can reach our goals and see our dream come to life. 

Listen to yourself next time someone is sharing with you.  Listen to yourself next time you hear from that voice inside your own head who tells you all the reasons you can’t. Tell that voice to shut the hell up cuz you’re doing it anyway! 

I know all about this.  I have had a lot of naysayers in my life.  Many of you who follow my blog and other social networks know one of my goals is at least once a month,  to do something I’ve never done. Something that scares the crap out of me.  Well so far I’ve been doing this and having a blast doing it. 

However, April is making me nervous…really nervous.  I’ve made some things start rolling that are almost as nerve-wracking as they are exciting!  I invited some amazing people I know to share in my idea and it’s coming to fruition.  My idea was to be able to share with each other life lessons, experiences that made big shifts for us personally.  We all spend so much time fighting our battles with our own life until we learn how to create the kind of life we want to live.  We need to share these lessons!  After all, why learn it if you can’t share it  right?

So Coffee with Soul was born.  Of course…the closer it gets the more my insider voice..my saboteur kicks up the volume.  My hope? That this tele series makes a difference for someone. That we can touch some lives.  The same reason I went out and got myself certified as a coach! 

My fears?  That I will suck as a host, that my talk will be lame and that the technical side of it will win (as in I won’t be able to handle it).  Well let’s face it. The technical stuff happens good or bad and I can only do my best. I plan to have a test run and go from there.  The other stuff…well I know how to deal with the stress, I  know how to practice and the people I’m working with are already freakin amazing!  I hear that voice and do it anyway!

Am I scared? Terrified!  BUT I’m going to go ahead and do it anyway.  I have hope.  I have people who remind me that I can do this and who will join me in celebration and laugh with me at my mistakes.  They will keep me on track towards success if I start to stumble. 

Life is good when you have hope.  Life is better when you have people you love support you in that hope.  Life is amazing when you can love yourself and learn to support your own hopes and dreams.

Let’s move towards the light and love of lifting each other up.




ps.  I’d love for you to join us for our tele series…if you are interested to find out how to stop fighting your life and make it fabulous you can learn more about how to register here.  The first speaker is April 9th, 2012.

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I work with people who are brilliant, creative and talented.  They are practically able to taste the success they want. 

So why are they working with me?  While there are many reasons, there tends to be a theme that comes through.  There is something that isn’t serving them.  A part of them locked up tight that they are having trouble accessing and they don’t know what to do about it. 

Most of the time the answer is within.  And there are many different answers to be had, no doubt.  One in particular has come across my desk a fair number of times recently.  I think I’ve noticed this one mostly because it’s an answer I’ve struggled with accepting in my own past. 

Okay..I’ll be honest.  I occasionally need a reminder about this one myself.   It’s a tricky one because it seems as though I am protecting myself rather than holding myself back from the things I am gunning for. 

Our psyche is full of ironic opposite thinking and it’s that just loads of fun?  

So, what is this we are talking about here?  The idea of ‘what if’ thinking.  

  • what if I make a fool of myself
  • what if I fail
  • what if people laugh at me
  • what if I am too tired
  • what if I realize I was wrong

Here is my answer to the what if’s.  You are not as breakable as you like to think.

Once we start finding the ‘what if’ questions the key is to answer it.  Think about the examples I’ve listed above.  What if I make a fool of myself?  Well, what would happen?  Ya, you’ll survive it won’t you?  It’s not as catastrophic as our subconscious wants us to think it is.  

On the surface it appears to make sense right? We want to avoid being uncomfortable or in pain but you know what?  Uncomfortable isn’t true pain; at least not the kind where we need to stop doing things that we want to in order to avoid it.   Jumping out of a plane with no parachute…okay then; THAT is pain we should be avoiding.  😉 

Let’s face facts, we often make things a much bigger deal than they really are or have to be. 

Think back.  You  (and I) have all embarrassed the heck out of ourselves at some point; and yet here we are.  Safe, sound and sane.  I’ve been laughed at, wrong, totally screwed up and yes..tripped UP the stairs.   I’ve lived through it and no major life set backs occurred.

I’m not going to break.  I’m not going to fall apart and lose everything.  In fact, what I like to point out is I might actually be fabulous, my mistakes might teach me something amazing or lead to new understandings.   People might laugh..or they might connect deeper with me because they also have been through it!

Most importantly…with no risk comes no reward.  If you don’t try you will never succeed. 

Next time you hear your little inner voice saying ‘what if’, answer with “yup, but I’m going to do it anyway!”

“If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll never have it.

If you don’t ask, the answer is always no.

If you don’t step forward, you’re always in the same place.

~Nora Roberts


If you need help figuring out your roadblocks shoot me an email. 

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