With all the political campaigning and rhetoric lately it’s been a bit overwhelming. There is a lot of information to take in and I love that social media allows us to share and even have a discussion around differences. I love those talks when everyone is able to put some ideas and facts on the table and discuss them without demanding other change their views or they are labelled WRONG. A great blog for this is Roy Ackerman’s. Take a gander at someone who can have strong opinions and yet discuss differing opinions without trash talking.
Sigh. Sadly that isn’t what this post is about.
I’ve noticed so many people struggling with the idea that you can disagree with someone and it doesn’t mean all out war.
There is a few people I actually considered disconnecting from this week just because I was shocked at the amount of venom that was released when someone disagreed with them over which candidate was the best choice. There wasn’t even a discussion about policy or past performance.
It is amazing to me how some can’t hear what they themselves are saying. When you qualify your statements with ‘I’m sorry but….” no one is buying your sorry. All we can determine is that you know you are being harsh, judgemental and perhaps even bitter, but you don’t want to get called on that.
It’s like saying “no offense, but you’re a jerk” – how can I not take offense at that? Or my favorite “You know I care about you but…(something terribly cruel here)”
Seriously…we need to start listening to ourselves first.
What really tipped me over the edge is when others did dis-connect from their profiles the talkers were upset and talked about how these people couldn’t handle hearing ‘truth’. Oh my…
Listen, here’s the thing. If this is what we are okay with coming out of our mouths into public ears, I can only imagine what is happening inside our heads. Some of us even talk to ourselves in such a way. Imagine the damage we are doing to others self images, to their hopes and dreams when we talk like this to them. Imagine the destruction we cause when we do it to ourselves.
We have to listen to our own trash in order to get rid of it.
This is not, by any means, how to be wise, compassionate, kind, or loving. It just isn’t…period. You are just trying to find a way to talk crap without looking like a total meanie.
Listen to your self today as you go along. It’s not okay to trash someone and try to excuse your actions. This includes yourself. So – no more looking in the mirror and saying wow..my hair looks great today…too bad I’m so short. Stop at your hair. Appreciate it and move on.
Please folks…listen to yourself first.
Definitely! Words and communication can be really hurtful to others and what a new concept to me, to be conscious of how we speak to ourselves as well. If we can learn to agree to disagree with others, we should also treat ourselves in the same way. Even though some part of me may always be critical, the other side of me can agree to disagree. Maybe this is part of why we have two differently functional sides of our brains. =)
I always say…words are powerful! If we can’t treat our selves with compassion how do we treat others with sincere love and compassion?
I am glad the political campaign is over. I said very little about my political opinions on Facebook because I didn’t want to deal with the haters. It seems like so many people are living in their own little worlds and don’t consider the plights of the poor, uneducated, disabled, etc.
You advice to “listen to yourself first” is very good. Thanks for an inspiring post, Bonnie.
First, I’m honored that you’ve mentioned me in this way…
I learned long ago that we are who we are. Our opinions should be based on facts. But, the problem is that some facts lend themselves to different nuanced visions.
Is it ok to shoot someone who is armed with a body bomb- but has not yet set it off? Did one try to convince him (it’s usually a him) that he was making a big mistake? Should we?
What about a drunk driver? If someone has gotten into his car at 2 AM, clearly plastered to the gills to drive on the public roads… is it ok to slash his tires as he leaves the parking lot to stop him or her?
Or, as I wrote some months ago, how do you react tot he phrase… Hell, no, we won’t go…(http://www.adjuvancy.com/wordpress/http:/www.adjuvancy.com/wordpress/um-excuse-bias-showing/) There is neither a right nor wrong answer to this (unless the Supreme Being decides to show up and provide some guidance on this subject matter right now…)
Great questions, Bonnie! One that should- and must- provoke thought-bearing discussions. Both here (come on- add your voices) and in one’s circle of friends and family.
Amen!