Self Love or Self care is probably not what a lot of you think it is. Many people confuse it with the concept of pampering.
I am thrilled that the idea of self care is really catching on and becoming more mainstream. I think it’s really important that we learn to love ourselves in this society.
We can’t create important change in the world and make positive shifts, if we are self loathing! However I think this is the perfect time of year to point out that there is a different between self love and pampering ourselves!
Why this time of year? Well we indulge a lot over the holidays don’t we? Sweets, rich foods, alcohol, spending money…and the list goes on. What I’ve noticed is a number of people are using this idea of self-care as a reason to over-indulge. C’mon…have you ever said “oh well I deserve it!”? That is not self care…this is excusing poor choices.
Pampering is when you indulge yourself with treats or whatever that you wouldn’t normally do. You give in to your desires and whims. There is not really anything wrong with pampering yourself once in a while either, but know that it isn’t the same thing. And know that you can be smart about your pampering as well, saving up for a day at the spa is smart. Running your credit card to max with no way to pay it off..not so smart! Have a rich dessert at the Christmas feast is fine…acting like the holidays last ALL of December and eating like that every day isn’t so fine.
However, Self love is when you do things that reinforce the idea that you are important and you matter. Self love is about reducing stress, improving your mind and body’s state and health. It’s a commitment to you. So, while that glass of wine might make you feel good for the moment, it really doesn’t have lasting effects. Things like scheduling time for you to meditate, or go for a recharging, quiet walk, read a favorite book, take some time…make you as much of a priority as everything else. This way you can more easily be present and pleasant!
Over the holidays some self care is important. It doesn’t have to be expensive either. An extra long bath, yoga, cup of tea by the fire, or quiet dog walk will do. Time to take care of you, is time well spent.
Possibly posted twice – you need to love yourself first in order to love anyone else
I have long believed that if you fail to love yourself and take care of yourself, you are unable to love and care for others. Loving yourself is essential to understand what love really is.
I couldn’t agree with you more on this, Bonnie! Depending “how” and “what” we were raised to believe about self-love, plays a hug role in how we practice it as adults.
For instance, if we were constantly told not to think of ourselves so “high and mighty” or one of my favorites, “Don’t get too big for your britches.” As adults, we might try unconsciously to never see the true awesomeness that we possess. We may even play ourselves down whenever we’re given compliments on what a great job we’ve done on a project. (I’m still working on this one myself.)
You see, I think so many people run in the opposite direction of self-help and improvement, because they just don’t want to dig up anything from the past. In their mind, they’ve dealt with the past, by ignoring it altogether. We can’t get stuck into believing that our life teachers did anything wrong or worse than anyone else’s did. Many times, we are only being given what was given to them. It’s up to us to grow forward, and take what’s been instilled into us, to a whole new level. Who knows… maybe we were meant to take the legacy we were given to the next level.
As you so well put it, the only way for us to truly do that is to start with making sure we are at the top of our game in loving ourselves. As Whitney Houston said, “Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all!” 🙂
Great post and discussion, my friend. Thanks for sharing this with us. 🙂
Oh my gosh, how I hate the term “I deserve this”! I deserve to be well taken care of in healthy way, and if there is no one else around to do that, I will do it for me. I do not deserve a large Blizzard just because I got out of be today 😉
Love that line…Self love is when you do things that reinforce the idea that you are important and you matter.