Fear is an incredibly powerful emotion that only gets more and more powerful as time goes on. Unless, of course, you DO something about it.
The biggest and most important thing you can do when it comes to our fears is not let them take on a life of their own. Put them in their real place and start dealing with them from there.
Many who’ve been kicking around this blog know that a few years ago I was in a serious car accident. Some of you also know that because of said accident my bank account plummeted VERY quickly and I soon was in some trouble.
At first, I wasn’t capable of dealing with those decisions. I really wasn’t. I did the best I could but I could only do so much and was in a lot of pain and confusion (concussions are NO laughing matter). So…things slid. I let them slide because I really thought I’d be better ‘soon’. Soon is an interesting time frame lol
Anyway, my point being things got bad quick and soon it was really scary to look at those numbers and know that bills were coming. I did what I could of course but wow…the stress of it all was really awful. It wasn’t until I finally forced myself to sit down and really look at my finances that a great deal of the stress was gone. The money was still a struggle but KNEW exactly where I was and could try to make a plan to deal with it.
I hid from the issue for a while. I really can’t say what I was thinking except I didn’t want to have to deal with it. Maybe it was embarassment or shame? Maybe I hoped the budget fairy would come and take care of it?
It’s funny because knowing you are short on rent money is really different to knowing your $125 short. The first one is like a big black hole of terrified fears around not being able to pay rent. The second is having to deal with asking for a bit of help which isn’t nearly as bad. Really weird how our brain works isn’t it? The unknown factors always throw a HUGE shadow, but often aren’t as big as you think when you turn on the light.
It’s the same with most fears.
I really advocate writing them down. Being able to put the racing thoughts into a coherent sentence or two helps you look at them a little more objectively and writing them down allows you to look these little monsters right in the eye.
From my experience with my own issues and with other people I’ve worked with, almost every single time you already know what you have to do to fix the problems. It can just seem so overwhelming and putting pen to paper helps you get organized and figure out what I call ‘the little next step’.
With every next little step you most certainly are taking back your power. That shadow on the wall gets smaller and smaller and much less scary. It does get easier.
You can only hide from the fears so long anyway so you might as well deal with them before they get any worse. I waited longer than I should have; I can admit it now but it was hard then. Tomorrow is only going to make it that much worse but today…today is better then it will be.
The key of course is having the courage to be open and honest with yourself. Hiding from our fears gives the fear power and it gets it by taking ours away from us! Screw that! Take it back by taking a deep breath and looking at exactly what the problem and fear is.
You can do – I know you can. And if you need a hand to hold or a light to shine – let me know.