“The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.” – Albert Ellis
Isn’t it something to behold? The person who understands that they are completely and utterly responsible for all they affect out in the big world? We come across them every now and again and I think we are surprised when it happens.
It’s true. I can admit it myself. I knew people like this who could admit they screwed up instead of trying to share the blame with everything else under the sun if only to ease the pressure. When I was younger I was in awe of them. They seems so sure of themselves! I was a bit of a scaredy-cat who worried about what would happen if I made a mistake. The people who could move things along like this just seem to shake things up. Interestingly enough once one person did it more tended to line up to accept their share of the load.
You would have thought that more often than not those who were now able to get off the hook would keep quiet but no..the opposite tends to happen. In fact, taking personal responsibility catches on!
This is because leading by example works. These folks who calmly can accept and learn from mistakes or unexpected events show how it’s done. No fiery demons came to drag them into the pits of oblivion…instead the ‘higher ups’ seem pleased. Taken aback but less upset. Not so bad right? It takes the fear out of stepping up.
The second part of the key to this I think if figuring how to solve the problem that was created. Offering a solution takes the pressure off of everyone really and shows you can think beyond the issue’s stressors and get it taken care of. I know I’d love to have someone like that on my team rather than someone who sits and waits for the boss to solve it all.
This works with many parts of our lives. Relationships, family, kids…pretty much all of it.
We all mess up. It’s happened and likely will happen again. It isn’t the mistakes that are the real problem but the way we react and handle them after the fact. Be honest, step up to your responsibility and find solutions.
Taking personal responsiblity?
Now that’s fabulous!