I hear a lot of new clients or friends who get upset when I talk about being in control of your own life. Like, really upset.
In fact, one person very recently called me out on it pretty harshly. I’m okay with that. I’ve found the blessing in this. When someone calls you out on your beliefs it can cause you to really look deeply at them and in this case bring about a strengthening of them and a deeper understanding.
The problem is one I totally get …because they are right. Completely right. You see, they were upset because I said that people create their life with their actions and thoughts. This person slammed down the point that life happens and we can’t control what others do to us and around us. “Look all the people who lost their houses, jobs and had their life crumble” He said. “You’re blaming THEM?”
Ouch. He was angry at me with righteous indignation on his part with the understanding that he had. I kind of admired him for that actually. A real stand-up guy if you think about it.
However, there was a part of this idea that he was missing.
While he was totally right – we can’t often control the experiences we have in life. We might lose our job and income through no fault of our own. Accidents happen (tell me about it!) that can destroy our life as we know it, and so on. However, we can control how we experience those circumstances. We ultimately choose our reactions. Oh sure sometimes we have immediate reactions that are based more on baser emotions, but we can calm ourselves or feed that fire.
I know people who allow petty annoyances to create a huge amount of chaos in their life. I also know people who have had great tragedy befall them who have chosen to create something positive out of it.
You can choose to let life happen TO you, or you can take the controls and begin to create a life that reflects who you are and who you want to be.
So let me be clear here. You may not be able to control WHAT experiences you have in life – but you can control HOW you experience them.
In this coming New Year I want you to consider that. This is a fresh year that can allow us a perfect time to begin to make shifts to bring about a happier, more vibrant life. Will you join me in taking the controls back in your life? I think it’s time we all understand we are responsible for our own happiness and quite capable of creating it.