Purpose, Passion or Pass?

Perhaps I am lucky that I have experienced both real passion and real focused purpose.   It’s only been in the last few years that I’ve been able to really understand that some people never get to feel either.

That makes me so sad – and I really want to DO something about it.  The problem is of course I know that everyone has the opportunity at some point.  Some people just choose to pass on it.

I’ve also realized you can’t MAKE someone dig deep unless they are ready and willing.  I’ve tried in the past.  I’ve even thought I succeeded but then nope..not so much.

All I can do is live my life in a purposefully and passionate way and hope that inspires.  I figure if I can move someone to start on their own life journey awake instead of sleepwalkng through it then that would be more than enough. 

I can also offer up some of my own experiences which is what I often do with these blog posts.  Digging is hard work, even when it’s mental and not physical.  BUT I do know that both types of digging is easier if someone lends you a hand – or a shovel.

I knew for most of high school that I was going to be a teacher.  I just knew.  It bubbled up from my heart of hearts and drove me to do what I had to do.  My passion drove my purpose which gave me my continued motivation.  

So what happens when you get to a point where you feel like you’ve achieved what you needed to? 

You have a choice even then.  Find your passion, dig up your new purpose or pass and stay right where you are.

This is what was happening to me a few years back.  I felt like I had reached a leveling off in my growth and the craving for something MORE started. 

It was this craving I think that may have been starting even when I moved across the country alone to live on the west coast.  I don’t think I recognized it yet but it may be that is when the seeds had been planted or struggling to break free of their shells.

Either way, I was looking for my own passion and purpose.  While I love teaching the kids and enjoy it still, I know I have grown and want to play a bigger game in my life.

Probably why I got certified as a Coach in the first place.  Stepping stones to where I was headed.

Lately I’ve been feeling like I need to be able to go even deeper.  With myself, my business and all of life.  I can see it, taste it even…but didn’t know quite how to get there.

I was a bit stuck.  Funny how stuck rhymes so nicely with YUCK isn’t it?

I started getting an idea but I was resisting opening up to it fully.  I’m not even sure why.  So much has changed the last few years that I think perhaps I just wanted to stay in some comfortable settings for a while but my restless heart would have none of that.

The signs started showing  up more and more often until one day I just took action.  A tiny small thing…reaching out to a friend for some information…that lead to a huge leap.

Suddenly, I’m headed back to school!  I’m upgrading my skills, opening doors and freaking out with happiness! 

I can’t quite see around the bend in the path yet but as soon as my feet hit this road I knew…just KNEW it was the right one.

I won’t kid you that my inner saboteur jumped right out and started yelling about ‘what if this’ and ‘what would happen’ sort of stuff.   I gotta say I almost smiled at that.  It means what I’m doing is just scary enough to bring about some serious leaps and bounds of growth.  I’m aiming so BIG!!

I answered that little voice with faith and then told her to shut up and sit down, cuz I’m doing it anyway.  Oh yes…I got this!

Open hearts find their passions – you already know what it is I promise you.  Fear and inner beliefs try to keep us from them.  Quite a dance really. 

I believe in me (and it’s taken a lot of work to be able to say that with real conviction!) but I also believe in YOU.  If you are having trouble finding your own purpose just look at what makes your heart sing.  

My heart sings when I help other women figure out what makes their hearts sing…pretty awesome huh?

How much attention have you been paying to growing your life?  Do you have Purpose, Passion or do you Pass?

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…and this

In the post Do This Instead I mentioned 5 things to consider when you think about how to improve your life, mindset and disposition.

“He who has so little knowledge of human nature as to seek happiness by changing anything but his own disposition will waste his life in fruitless efforts.”
~Samuel Johnson

The five things discussed were;

1. Metacognition
2. Be curious
3. Living from Wonder
4. Persist
5. Laugh from your belly

A pretty good list if you ask me.  In fact I think a number of the comments agreed.  Good news! I have a few more to share with you.

Before I do that however, I want to mention that in no way do I suggest you should or could go ahead and simply change all of these to perfect your life over night.  Goodness..that’s just crazy talk!  What I suggest is you take a look at these and imagine where you could open up to possibilities of change or growth in your life.  Pick one to focus on and go from there.

You can make goals (yup even SMART goals) around each of these to give yourself some focus and purpose.  You spent a life time establishing habits, you can’t expect to simply exchange them for new ones in one fell swoop.  If you need some help there…let me know at info@rivendllcoaching.com !

With no further ado:

1. Learn to listen.  Yes, yes I know. Most of us have perfectly decent ears that work but in all truth most of us suck as good listeners.  Being a good listener takes focus and practice. We should strive first to understand before we worry about being understood.  It takes a fair bit of mental energy devoted to another person’s thoughts and ideas to be a good and empathetic listener. 

2. Take Responsible Risks.   Remember when I told you for one month I was going to say ‘yes’ to every opportunity that came my way..even if it was a bit scary?  Well in that yes month I did take some personal risks and it really paid off.  However, they were responsible risks.  I mean let’s face facts; if you had suggested I jump off a bridge I’d probably have said no anyway. It wouldn’t be a responsible risk.  There is a difference.  Being adventuresome doesn’t mean being stupid.  Take the level of comfort and competence you already have to the edge and see what awaits you.

3. Think about it upside down.  Now if you can stand on your head and think about things go ahead; please enjoy the view. I, however, will simply use this expression to mean that you need to be flexible in your thinking and practice seeing things from a different perspective.  Innovation comes from trying a novel idea.  When you generate options and alternatives you let go of your obsession with a specific outcome and might just end up with something pretty freakin amazing.   So, practice asking yourself  “what else is possible here?”

4. Live from Compassion.  Seriously, if you didn’t know I’d put this on in the list you haven’t followed me very long.  When you  make choices and decisions with compassion as the base for them life is kinder, gentler, more peaceful and much more loving.  Keep in mind that having compassion in mind in the way you treat yourself is also important.  You are, after all, setting a precedent for how others act towards you.  You want to get rid of a lot of crap and negativity in your life…this is a perfect place to start.

5. Remain open to Continuous Learning.  There is no time in the human condition that we should be done with learning.  There is so much to understand, explore and be thrilled by.  When you stop learning and entertaining new ideas and ways of seeing things…it is there that you cease to live and simply exist.  Accept that there is much we don’t know, much we can learn and go out to find it.  Throw your pride and need to be ‘right’ out the window and become open and aware that ‘you do not know’ and this is perfectly okay.  This will stop you from fighting  life’s lessons and instead bring peaceful acceptance of all that life offers you.

6. Choose to have found your bliss.  Right here, right now is all we really have.  Yesterday is the past and is gone, tomorrow is an unfulfilled promise.  Today is it, this very moment.  Please lovelies…don’t waste it. There is happiness, joy and love to be found even in the worst of circumstance;  if only you will open your eyes and heart to it.  You have to choose to see it.  The more bliss you choose to focus on, the more you will find.  It’s the Law of Attraction lovelies..and it works.

Let me know what you think of these six habits and the first five. 
Which ones jump out at you?  Made you think?  Disagree with me on any?
What are you going to work  on…and how?

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What is your Spirit Whispering?

Do you conform?

I suppose at some point or another and on some level we all conform.  I mean if you really want to split hairs you can point out that total non conformity is what psychopaths achieve and we kinda lock those folks up right?

Okay..not quite that deep.  I’m talking about the everyday.  What will you give up to fit in?

If you read my last post you know I’m not really good at changing who I am in order to please other people.  Not that I haven’t tried.  Certainly, don’t get me wrong; I do think good manners and being respectful is a form of conformity and I’m all in favour of those.  Those are the types of things that help us as a society get along and share our other gifts.  The problem with conformity is when it stifles your spirit. The problems as I see it are two-fold.

1.  People who insist that you conform to what they see as normal generally want you to do so, not because of you; but because your freedom makes them uncomfortable. They want the same old, same old so they can go about their daily life of routine and not think too much.  They basically would really like to ignore your spirit and spark.  It’s UNCOMFORTABLE.  By nature people tend to try to avoid that which makes them feel discomfort.  Often that is a really good plan.  I mean sitting in cold water is also uncomfortable so hey, let’s avoid that right? 

Imagine though you were standing on a rocky shore with brambles and bugs.  What if you heard that swimming in the cold water brought you across to a shore that was amazing though?  Palm trees, coconuts, white sand and sun!  Some would swim it in order to try to find the pleasure.  Others would stay on the boring shore even so.  They just can’t make the leap.  And they don’t enjoy knowing some are already over on the other side so they point to the people who are shivering in the water to prove how silly it is.  Better to stay with what you know than risk.

If you have been reading my blog you know this isn’t me.  I am learning to swim faster and stronger although there are times I’ve felt I’ve been treading water and that I’m not quite sure which way the shore is at times.  Still, I swim.  Do you?

2. Being yourself can mean pink hair and studded boots or it can simply mean choosing to work somewhere that feeds your passion.  But some are trying to hard to be different and that leads to a funny thing.  What you end up doing is trying too hard and you end up just as lost.  You essentially (ready for this?) are trying to conform with those people who are not conforming.  Makes no sense at all to do that does it? 

Be yourself.  Find your values, your passion and your purpose.  Live from there. That IS different; there is no one more original you can be than you.

Originality is within all of us.  Where is emerges can be varied and we need to embrace who we are.  Embrace who you are!  Love your quirks because you have to know that this is also what makes others love you too.  Your spirit needs to be free and open.  Only you can make that happen.  Own your own spirit, be joyful for the gifts you have.

So, do you conform or you own your spirit?

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Looking a Little Deeper

I’ve been reading a fair number of journals, books and blogs all about finding your passions. To be honest when I first started this project I had hoped to find something a little more substantial than the idea that life could be all rainbows and butterflies if you only followed the proverbial yellow brick road.  I mean..even Dorthy had her troubles right?

It all seemed just a little bit to simplistic to be honest and I figured there had to be more.  It seems I wasn’t alone.

Much of what I read and heard was the same rhetoric over and over.  I just didn’t feel like these authors were being really authentic and real about the issue. I needed more!  Only occasionally did I discover something a bit deeper, a bit more reflective. In fact it usually came from those who, like I, were wondering what more there was of the whole thing.

First thing I realized it that you certainly can follow your passions..most of the time. However the fact is sometimes, at least at first, you need a ‘day job’ too.

Let me back up a little as I‘m sure there are a few people out there who don’t like me saying this. There is something I’ve been trying to get my noggin to wrap itself around. And that it what we think is our passion might actually not be the real thing. It might simply be what feeds our true passion.  I think we need to look deeply at our whys and this is when things stop being quite so simple.

For example, before I broke my ankle and foot (and the resulting air cast damaged my knee!) I loved to run. Lots of people run. Some even train for marathons. What I noticed is some people ran all the time, some pretty much only trained for races. Interesting right? So if we delve deeper we might find that the passion for those racers is not so much the running, but perhaps the accolades and the cheering that drives them. Having that in their life is their real passion and they feed it through running these races.

The way to decide if the running is your real passion would be to ask yourself if no one ever knew that I ran, would I still run? Would I still put in the hours to train for the long races if no one ever knew about it?

Okay and so what if I discover that yes, I love everything about running and I really feel it is my passion. The Guru’s often tell us to somehow translate that into a job and our life will magically become wonderful. Can I pay the mortgage and put food on the table with running? Perhaps. But there is very little chance of that isn’t there if I am not a superstar with extra special skills. So I need a day job. Now if lucky perhaps I can work my love for running into this by working in a sports store or gym but the fact is we might just need a job.

That doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy my job or even like it.

My job as a teacher is another great example. I love working with the kids, I love the teaching aspect. The politics–not so much! Still if I dive deeper is it the kids that drives me or something deeper? To be honest part of what makes me passionate is the absolute kick I get out of the children when they have their aha moments. Like when they tell me that today they can now read (when the day before the swore they could not). That is what really motivates me. I love sharing those. Now consider that fact that my transfer over to coaching still allows me to share in some very profound aha moments and you can see me following my deeper passion. It’s these moments that make me passionate about helping people!

It doesn’t have to be an either or situation. It seems like we kind of get the feeling that we have to follow our passions with 100 % of our life or we aren’t doing it right. I think that we are being a bit unrealistic and limiting to expect that of ourselves all the time. 

Don’t get me wrong…I do very much believe we need to follow our hearts in order to find our path and live our lives well, but we need to take out brains with us too. 

After all what is life without variety?

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Its about the Passion

Ever wonder what the point of it all is? I used to wonder about that.  What was the “why” in all the things I do.

I figured it out.  The key to feeling like your life has meaning is to GIVE it meaning.

Find your passion.  Passion brings the meaning, the meaning gives you the ‘why’.

Of course I suspect I”m not the first person to have figured this out so why is it so many people are simply surviving rather than really living?  I suspect there are a couple of reasons. The worst being they just don’t know better. The people they surround themselves with are also just existing, not joyfully living.  They think that this is normal and the way to do things.

It isn’t until you experience more, that you understand there is more.

Every new experience we have opens our eyes to more possibilities and the ability we have to experience what is ours in new ways and what can be ours eventually

My “more” came over time with a slower realization, some people experience this all at once and get a big aha moment.

Then comes the exploration of where your path lies.  This is an important journey.  I know many of you out there are finding the blessings and frustrations that come with this journey. 

What is your passion? Where did it come from for you?  I truly think that we can help each other find our own path by sharing how we’ve come to ours.  So tell me your story.

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