As most of you know I’m on Facebook. I admit I do enjoy the way I’ve been able to meet some really amazing people there. I’ve joined some groups that have been simply wonderful. There are some truly loving, giving and fabulous people willing to reach out and befriend you.
I also really enjoy how I can keep up with people I already knew and love who are far away. It’s tough to connect sometimes by phone with different time zones, schedules, kids etc. It’s another great tool to keep up with what’s happening.
One thing I’ve been seeing a lot of lately though that has started to bug me a little is in people status’. Not the status themselves mind you. The messages are wonderful, but what bugs me is that I know many of these people personally . The are handing out the message, but aren’t living it themselves. This isn’t living in integrity nor in an authentic way at all.
Here’s an example of one of these status’. Keep in mind they are out there for just about any cause you can think of…homelessness, abuse..etc. This is just the one I noticed first off to give you the example. I’m sure you’ve seen plenty of them if you are on Facebook.
That girl you called a slut in class today – she’s a virgin. The pregnant girl walking down the street – she got raped . The boy you called lame, he has to work every night to support his family. That girl you pushed down the other day, she’s already being abused at home. That girl you called fat, she’s starving herself. The old man you made fun of cause of the ugly scars, he fought for our country. The boy you made fun of for crying, his mother is dying. You think you know them. Guess what? You don’t! Re-post if you are against bullying. I bet 99% of you won’t, but you’re that 1% with a heart ♥
The message is good isn’t it? That part isn’t the part I have trouble with. I keep seeing this last line “re-post if you are against bullying. I bet 99% of you won’t, but you’re that 1% with a heart”. First off, I’ve never been a fan of that kind of manipulation but forgetting that part…how the heck does that really help?
Let’s face it, I can re-post that in 2 clicks. Now I’ve done my good deed for the day? I can forget about it? Sorry but that just isn’t flying with me. You want to stop bullying? Or elder abuse or whatever your cause it is you are talking about; then you need to offer up an actual, real and useful action that can be taken. Re-posting isn’t it.
I have one other little bone to pick with this type of surface activism. Get off your own butt and live it. Seriously, I know the people who posts these. None of them volunteer or are active in any of these causes. The person who posted that particular status I know well. I also know for a fact they don’t talk to their kids about character, values or bullies on purpose to teach them about those things. They are not a bad parent by any means; but as the title of this piece says, if you are going to talk the talk, start walking the walk.
As a Personal Growth Coach I can tell you I see this a lot. People know the right words to say, the rhetoric and the latest phrases to sound like they’ve got it going on. I often have these people tell me they just don’t understand why “it’s not working’ for them.
Simple: you talk it, but you don’t live it.
So, we examine where the client is lacking and I reflect it back to their values and their ’talk’. It’s a hard look at the self; one that can become almost painful to see that real truth because you get to a crossroads. You either step back and acknowledge you aren’t ready to move out of your comfort zone and so choose to stay there. Or you can continue trying to BS yourself, which doesn’t work really well at this point (especially as I will call you on this!). Or you have to saddle up and do the work; face the tough choices and understand that you need the rain for the rainbow to appear.
So, from a Facebook status to spiritual journeys you have to know that it isn’t enough to just say the words.
Do you do that? Perhaps if you find yourself struggling you too can examine where you lack and see if there is more talk than walk. Let’s face it, our actions always speak much louder than our words.