A fair number of people have mentioned that I tend to do things ‘outside’ the box. One person just this week suggested that I had a bit of a rebel streak. I’m certain they meant it as a compliment; at least I hope so because that is exactly how I took it.
For whatever reason, as a kid and even as a teenager I rarely judged what I was doing as good or bad, or for that matter if others were good or bad.
That lack of awareness (and yes, at the time that is what it was) that I ‘should’ be weighing things in such a way took me pretty far. I never really got pigeon-holed into one group of friends, or by one way of thinking or doing. Which meant I also got to experience many different facets of life.
I am so grateful for that. All those experiences opened my eyes to so much and many different ways of thinking and doing. I believe this is why people sometimes view how I live as slightly out side of what is “normal”.
Ugh what is normal anyway? Who gets to really decide that? I love the quote that says “normal is an illusion – what is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly”. That’s often how I feel, not that I’m outside of normal…just that I appreciate my own sense of normal.
Perhaps we’d be better to use the word traditional? Goodness knows I gave a few people heart attacks when I decided to move across the country and in less than 1 month was on the road to my new adventure. Yup, sold my house, gave away tons of my things and just went for it. Not the tradition in my family most certainly!
I knew my path led elsewhere and I was going to damn well figure out where that was.
Was I judged for this abrupt left turn? Oh yes. Did I care? Not really.
Now that I’m building my career as an Empowerment and Transitional Coach, I’m seeing a lot of that stuff come up again. Why would I leave teaching to do this? What they are really saying is why would I risk this? Risk is bad right? <– just another judgment!,
The thing I’ve realized is when we judge things as good or bad, normal or weird…or whatever we only limit ourselves. I’m not talking about when we have to decide for ourselves which direction to go. That’s different from judging. That’s simply weighing our options to make a choice.
If I had bought into the judgments about moving from being a teacher to coaching, I’d have limited my own growth. It’s my strong belief that we all have stepping-stones that contain lessons we need to learn. Perhaps my passion for coaching and taking my message to the world now is simply because I’ve learned all I can from teaching. My next step is Coaching. That same passion that drove me and sustained me to be a teacher is now there for coaching. I cannot ignore that.
I don’t understand how anyone can do that, although I do know that many do.
Once we make that choice we often start judging ourselves around it. Imagine if we could just experience life and all it has to offer – including those who are so different from us – without having to label them?
I find it rather fascinating that one of the things I’ve heard about people who love their pets is one of the reasons they love them and feel so at ease is because a cat or dog or horse never judge them; not for a bad hair day, clothes, tears or doing a silly happy dance. And yet, we haven’t figured that out for our people relationships? Hmmm.
If we could finally realize the power in that then we’d be able to see more of the beauty in the souls of others. I think we’d attempt more and do more and in truth – we’d live more.
My motto – life is short, eat dessert first! It simply means to do what matters and what you love first! If someone is judging your actions it really says more about where they are in their life than about where you are. Love yourself and follow your passions.
Can you think of places you hold back in your life because you feel that you may be judged? Or are you judging yourself?