Who Made You the Judge?

A fair number of people have mentioned that I tend to do things ‘outside’ the box.  One person just this week suggested that I had a bit of a rebel streak.  I’m certain they meant it as a compliment; at least I hope so because that is exactly how I took it.

For whatever reason, as a kid and even as a teenager I rarely judged what I was doing as good or bad, or for that matter if others were good or bad.

That lack of awareness (and yes, at the time that is what it was) that I ‘should’ be weighing things in such a way took me pretty far.  I never really got pigeon-holed into one group of friends, or by one way of thinking or doing.  Which meant I also got to experience many different facets of life.

I am so grateful for that.  All those experiences opened my eyes to so much and many different ways of thinking and doing.  I believe this is why people sometimes view how I live as slightly out side of what is “normal”.

Ugh what is normal anyway?  Who gets to really decide that?  I love the quote that says “normal is an illusion – what is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly”.  That’s often how I feel, not that I’m outside of normal…just that I appreciate my own sense of normal.

Perhaps we’d be better to use the word traditional?  Goodness knows I gave a few people heart attacks when I decided to move across the country and in less than 1 month was on the road to my new adventure.  Yup, sold my house, gave away tons of my things and just went for it.  Not the tradition in my family most certainly!

I knew my path led elsewhere and I was going to damn well figure out where that was.

Was I judged for this abrupt left turn?  Oh yes.  Did I care?  Not really.

Now that I’m building my career as an Empowerment and Transitional Coach, I’m seeing a lot of that stuff come up again.  Why would I leave teaching to do this?  What they are really saying is why would I risk this?  Risk is bad right?  <– just another judgment!,

The thing I’ve realized is when we judge things as good or bad, normal or weird…or whatever we only limit ourselves.  I’m not talking about when we have to decide for ourselves which direction to go. That’s different from judging.  That’s simply weighing our options to make a choice.

If I had bought into the judgments about moving from being a teacher to coaching, I’d have limited my own growth.  It’s my strong belief that we all have stepping-stones that contain lessons we need to learn.  Perhaps my passion for coaching and taking my message to the world now is simply because I’ve learned all I can from teaching.  My next step is Coaching.  That same passion that drove me and sustained me to be a teacher is now there for coaching.  I cannot ignore that.

I don’t understand how anyone can do that, although I do know that many do.

Once we make that choice we often start judging ourselves around it.  Imagine if we could just experience life and all it has to offer – including those who are so different from us – without having to label them?

I find it rather fascinating that one of the things I’ve heard about people who love their pets is one of the reasons they love them and feel so at ease is because a cat or dog or horse never judge them; not for a bad hair day, clothes, tears or doing a silly happy dance.  And yet, we haven’t figured that out for our people relationships? Hmmm. 

If we could finally realize the power in that then we’d be able to see more of the beauty in the souls of others.  I think we’d attempt more and do more and in truth – we’d live more.

My motto – life is short, eat dessert first!  It simply means to do what matters and what you love first!  If someone is judging your actions it really says more about where they are in their life than about where you are.  Love yourself and follow your passions.

Can you think of places you hold back in your life because you feel that you may be judged?  Or are you judging yourself?

Read Full Post »

Why I stopped chasing my dreams

I realized not that long ago that I have been chasing some dreams and not getting anywhere and I couldn’t figure out why.

At least that is what I told myself.

When I had the courage to ask myself some tough questions and pause long enough to really look at what I was doing it really seemed like I what I was really doing was chasing my tail rather than my dreams.

So, I had to ask myself what the deal was.  Why was I feeling very ‘busy’ but getting nothing done in terms of moving forward with some things.

Busy doesn’t mean productive.  Do I really have to explain this?  I think we know deep down when we are being ‘busy busy’ but not being real. Procrastination loves this aspect of itself.

I was chasing something but never catching it.  This plan had to change if anything was going to be achieved I knew that.  The hard part was being really honest with myself and not beating myself up at the same time.

Mindful examination without judgment…wow.  Powerful stuff…and really tricky at times.

Still I decided to STOP chasing my dreams altogether.  This doesn’t mean I’m not still planning on achieving my dreams – no way I’d give that up!

What is means is I’m no longer blindly running around hoping to fall into what I need.  Fact is even if I had I’d probably have kept running around unable to recognize it anyway.

So I stopped chasing.  I started pulling my dreams towards me with conscious deliberate steps.  Mutual attraction is so much more powerful.

I asked myself what do I need to get ‘here’.  Then, how can I get what I need.

Two very simple, very powerful questions that stopped the chase.

Now I’m walking purposefully towards what I want.  I know what I am doing to get there.  The blinders are off, the chasing has stopped and I no longer am waiting to fall into something.  I’m making it happen.

For the record one of my dreams – now a concrete goal – is to train to be an ICF certified Wellness Coach.  More tools, more skills, more people to serve. Although I am already a certified coach I really felt limited by my own skill set and wanted to get DEEPER.

I’m doing that right now.  In about 6 months I’ll have nailed that goal down because I asked myself what I needed (training) and how I can get that (research schools, talk to people) and then I submitted my application.  I was approved and started just recently.

It’s like waking up in your own bed after being away for a time.  It just feels right and perfect.

If you are chasing your dreams maybe it’s time for you to stop too.  Give up the chase and start the path of striding with all sorts of confidence towards what you want and need.

Read Full Post »

Purpose, Passion or Pass?

Perhaps I am lucky that I have experienced both real passion and real focused purpose.   It’s only been in the last few years that I’ve been able to really understand that some people never get to feel either.

That makes me so sad – and I really want to DO something about it.  The problem is of course I know that everyone has the opportunity at some point.  Some people just choose to pass on it.

I’ve also realized you can’t MAKE someone dig deep unless they are ready and willing.  I’ve tried in the past.  I’ve even thought I succeeded but then nope..not so much.

All I can do is live my life in a purposefully and passionate way and hope that inspires.  I figure if I can move someone to start on their own life journey awake instead of sleepwalkng through it then that would be more than enough. 

I can also offer up some of my own experiences which is what I often do with these blog posts.  Digging is hard work, even when it’s mental and not physical.  BUT I do know that both types of digging is easier if someone lends you a hand – or a shovel.

I knew for most of high school that I was going to be a teacher.  I just knew.  It bubbled up from my heart of hearts and drove me to do what I had to do.  My passion drove my purpose which gave me my continued motivation.  

So what happens when you get to a point where you feel like you’ve achieved what you needed to? 

You have a choice even then.  Find your passion, dig up your new purpose or pass and stay right where you are.

This is what was happening to me a few years back.  I felt like I had reached a leveling off in my growth and the craving for something MORE started. 

It was this craving I think that may have been starting even when I moved across the country alone to live on the west coast.  I don’t think I recognized it yet but it may be that is when the seeds had been planted or struggling to break free of their shells.

Either way, I was looking for my own passion and purpose.  While I love teaching the kids and enjoy it still, I know I have grown and want to play a bigger game in my life.

Probably why I got certified as a Coach in the first place.  Stepping stones to where I was headed.

Lately I’ve been feeling like I need to be able to go even deeper.  With myself, my business and all of life.  I can see it, taste it even…but didn’t know quite how to get there.

I was a bit stuck.  Funny how stuck rhymes so nicely with YUCK isn’t it?

I started getting an idea but I was resisting opening up to it fully.  I’m not even sure why.  So much has changed the last few years that I think perhaps I just wanted to stay in some comfortable settings for a while but my restless heart would have none of that.

The signs started showing  up more and more often until one day I just took action.  A tiny small thing…reaching out to a friend for some information…that lead to a huge leap.

Suddenly, I’m headed back to school!  I’m upgrading my skills, opening doors and freaking out with happiness! 

I can’t quite see around the bend in the path yet but as soon as my feet hit this road I knew…just KNEW it was the right one.

I won’t kid you that my inner saboteur jumped right out and started yelling about ‘what if this’ and ‘what would happen’ sort of stuff.   I gotta say I almost smiled at that.  It means what I’m doing is just scary enough to bring about some serious leaps and bounds of growth.  I’m aiming so BIG!!

I answered that little voice with faith and then told her to shut up and sit down, cuz I’m doing it anyway.  Oh yes…I got this!

Open hearts find their passions – you already know what it is I promise you.  Fear and inner beliefs try to keep us from them.  Quite a dance really. 

I believe in me (and it’s taken a lot of work to be able to say that with real conviction!) but I also believe in YOU.  If you are having trouble finding your own purpose just look at what makes your heart sing.  

My heart sings when I help other women figure out what makes their hearts sing…pretty awesome huh?

How much attention have you been paying to growing your life?  Do you have Purpose, Passion or do you Pass?

Read Full Post »

So 2013 – We meet at last!

2013 is feeling pretty exciting already.  I’m not sure why I just KNOW deep in my heart that big things are going to happen and HUGE shifts in my life are about to be made.

It’s got me all full of energy!

I’ve seen a TON of people asking the question this year about what your 2013 ‘focus word’ will be.  I guess this is the new way to get around making resolutions for the New Year.  There is a bit of backlash against those poor things but that’s another post altogether isn’t it?

So my word for 2013…hmm.  That’s not as easy as you might think.  I really wanted my word to be something super inspiring.  Okay I’ll be honest I really like to be different too. Lots of people were throwing out buzz words which is terrific if they work for you.  I like words like ‘limitless’ or ‘unstoppable’ but I had a couple of problems with this.

First, loads of people were employing them this year and that alone tends to make me back up.  I suppose someday I’ll have to explore why that is with me but for right now I’m just accepting it. 

Second, none of those words really hit home for me.  I like them, I find inspiration in hearing others use them as their focus word but it just didn’t stick for me.

Crap.  Now what?  It’s pretty bad if I can’t find a freakin word to choose right?  Seems like everyone else was right there with one ready to go. I really like the idea and had plans to create a wordle, screen saver etc etc…but I blanked.

It seems my ego was shouting a bit too loud.  My heart couldn’t quite be heard.

So, I had to shut my ego the heck up and open the doors to my own truth and light.  My ego hates to feel judged.  Had way to much of that when I was a kid and it’s still a bit of an issue I am working on. 

I meditated and listened.  My heart’s wishes were there, I just couldn’t quite grasp them.  Then a few nights ago I awoke.  My 4am thinking time.  Before I was even fully awake, my word came to me loud and clear. 

Expanding

Huh?  To be honest I checked again with a ‘are you sure that’s it?’ but yup. It feels good.  My ego isn’t too sure and really wants to clarify I’m NOT talking about my waistline but even my ego can see the truth in it.

My world, my understanding and my life…all expanding.

Can I just tell you that I know it’s part of my deepest truth, because even typing that last sentence brought so much emotion with it, I had a few tears.  I think perhaps expanding my joy and gratitude are almost too much for my little ol heart to take talking about but it will!  It will only grow stronger every time I do.

I tell you this partly because I like to share with all of you my own joys and partly for another reason.  To share the importance of introspective thought and how tough it can be to find the real truth.  I have barriers I needed to cross before I could see it clearly.  So do you.  Many will just jump on the bandwagon and throw out a ‘cool’ word but hardly give it a second thought.  This has been the problem with resolutions and goals for….well ever!  We don’t think deeply enough about them.

It has to matter deep down; it has to have a WHY. 

I’d love to hear what your focus word for 2013 is, and even your story as to your why.  I’d also love your ideas as to what to DO with these focus words to keep them in the forefront for 2013.

My biggest wish is not that you make perfect goals, and set out wonderful plans to reach them; although I’m happy to help you with that.  My biggest hope for you is that you are able to discover your own hearts deepest with and bring it out into the light.  To give it life and love so you can begin the journey towards your own joy.

Blessings,

Read Full Post »

On the Brink

Lately I have been moving towards different goals. In the process I’ve been discovering more and more about my true self.  While this is very liberating and at the same time occasionally scary I have noticed something new.

I have been teetering on the brink.  The question I struggle with is the brink of what?

I can only explain in mundane words what I have been feeling but here goes.

Imagine with me for a moment.  There is an edge I can’t quite see over.  Be it a cliff or hill..whatever.  Moving closer brings with it excitement and it is also a bit scary.  When I get too close I pull back to the safety of where I was to take a breath…perhaps just a little closer than before.

I can see the edge and the blue skies beyond it but I don’t know what it holds.

I know, somewhere deep in my soul that I need to walk over to the edge and leap.  I know it.  But fear is a tricky thing isn’t it?

What will I find?  I am not sure but I believe I am becoming me, but even more so.  Does that make sense?  Ha!  Sometimes it doesn’t quite make sense to me.

I am reminded of my good friend Deone’s post comparing his journey to the butterfly.  I actually haven’t thought of that post for a while.  For some reason THAT was the post that showed up when I came to my blog this day.  A little whisper from the universe to move me along?  Perhaps that is what is happening?  Perhaps I am ready to transform, to leave or maybe build a cocoon and grow my wings.

It’s funny.  Not long ago I would have said I already did that.  That certain things which happened taught me so much about my own power, my own light and my place in this world.

I honestly  used to wonder what people did when they got it figured out.   Seriously. I thought…once you learn how to meditate or be calm what do you do then? 

Well, I can tell you that with every pair of wings you have grown; with every sky you have learned to soar in there is more.  There is so much more.  You can’t always see what is above until you can rise up. 

There is a story about how when you are on a train and it goes into a tunnel and gets dark you don’t jump off.  Instead you know to trust the driver to get you through the tunnel and back into the light. 

My friends…you drive your own train.  You can’t help but come across a tunnel once in a while.  Trust in your ability to find the light at the other end.  Some tunnels are longer than others but they all lead somewhere.  On the other side…the light might just be a little brighter.  You’re light might be a little brighter.  Things might just fit more perfectly then they ever have before.

Sooner or later I’m going to take the leap over that edge.   I can see the glimmer of light from the end of the tunnel I’ve been travelling in.  I know I will get there.   You’ll see.  I hope you find your next level of growth just as exciting and scary and that you too find the perfect time to go take a look at what you can become when you trust.

Read Full Post »