Okay, you’re stressed right? Not a huge shocker for you I’m sure. In my previous post Stress Wisdom, I shared with you some of my favorite quotes about the little monster we all fondly call stress.
The best advice I have ever been blessed with is that we can choose how we respond to events in our lives. Stuff is going to happen. Good and bad. Stress is going to happen.
Stress is a body’s response to what our mind percieves as some sort of dangerous condition. The good news is we don’t have to be a slave to our first reactions. We are not stuck there if we don’t want to be.
Self Awareness is the key.
Try this. Starting to feel that old familiar tension, that ball of stress? First acknowledge it. It’s there. Just like every other emotion or reaction we have we need to accept it as it is. Pretending it’s not is not helpful nor is it healthy.
Stop, breathe for a moment.
Now look at the problem and define what it really is. Often this step alone takes away much of the power the problem appears to have. Looking at it directly we often find it isn’t as bad as it first appeared.
Now, in an ideal world; what’s the solution going to look like? For example, if my car has stopped working the real problem I need to deal with today is I need to get to work. In an ideal world I’d simply run out buy a new car that is reliable! These are fun to think about but they also give you an idea of where you want your smaller steps to take you.
Okay now we know the big goal is a new car. But, what do we need today? A ride to work right?
Ask yourself what can you do to make what you need happen. This is the key. To focus on what you can do.
Example, I can cab it, call a co-worker for a ride, borrow my boyfriend’s car after I drop him off and lots more ideas. Now pick the one that works the best to solve what you need today. If that doesn’t pan out go to the next on the list.
Once that is sorted out you can create a plan to work towards that more reliable car.
Choosing to be calm and solve your problem rather than allowing the stress to run the show will help you a great deal.
Working towards a solution and creating a plan can in and of itself help reduce stress.
Quick review:
1. Define exactly what the real problem is you need to solve today.
2. What can you do today?
3. Know what your ideal solution is so you know the direction you want to move toward.
Stress is a reaction we can manage with practice and taking time to check in with our body and mind. Next post I’ll be talking more about stress reactions! Stay tuned!
I worked for a year at a stress clinic and I couldn’t agree more. Our reactions to stress are even more harmful than the core reason for stress itself. Relaxing and making that plan which Roy talks about is probably the easiest ‘escape’ than anything else! We get so caught up with the stress and its consequences that we actually end up doing more harm !
Excellent! Integrating tools like this is definitely a healthy choice. It can be a challenge for people to grasp that we create our own stress through the choices we make or when we react on autopilot to stress triggers instead of responding after giving a situation consideration. I love how you broke this out…so doable when we take it step by step…and perfect timing for me. Even when you’re trained, there are times when stress can sneak up on you!
Tambre you know you really make a good point. Just because we are coaches and have the knowledge doesn’t mean we always are able to see the forest for the trees so to speak. I love being coached myself…I too move forward so much faster than if I tried to do it by myself.
Well the picture to your post really caught my eye Bonnie! I think I look like that on some days, lol.
Stress is certainly serious as it can creep into our health, well being and of course, into our daily lives. I like your reminder to … breathe! As simple as stopping, breathing and then acknowleding where the stress is coming from can be the best way to manage it.
Your quick review is simple to remember and something to apply next time I feel stressed.
Oh Lynn, then you and I could be twins some days! lol You know the idea to stop and center yourself seems so simple but wow it can have some impact. I swear half of the time that is all it takes for me to release a great deal of stress. I find I just get so wound up doing so much do you?
Great post, Bonnie. And, to conflate your concept with another bloggers, Tambre Leighn, (http://coachingbytambre.com/life-coaching/behind-the-mask-of-anger/), many of the times we are stressed and try to make a decision, we become angry (simultaneously or consecutively). We need to sit back, analyze the source of our frustration, the cause of our distress, and the situation that needs a correction. THEN, develop a plan and follow through with the corrective action. Everyone- us, our spouses (should we have any), our staff or confederates- will benefit. Less strife, less histrionics, and real results.
Absolutely Roy, it really boils down to self awareness all across the board doens’t it? Then one needs to decide what they can do and what they will do..and get to it! Of course some days this is easier to say than to do. Having a system for dealing with stress (like this) can make it so much better on those days.
now I’m stressed thinking of #1, 2 & 3…aieeeeee
