As some of you know I’ve been spending part of my summer working with a group of children from Korea who are here for a cultural exchange and to learn and practice their English. Not a small feat for anyone, let alone a groups whose ages are around 12-14 years!
Part of what I am doing is working with them to hone a speech on a hero of their choosing. They are pretty invested in this because there is a contest and boy these kids are competitive! Call it a contest and they are all over it, practicing and working even at break time.
Love that enthusiasm!
I have noticed something however. All the same ideas are coming through in terms of what a hero means to each child. It always come back to the same couple of ideas.
- tries hard
- never gives up
- cares deeply
- lives from integrity
Want to hear something else really interesting? Many of them chose a grand historical figure but a few chose a parent and we even have one who chose a teacher. Still, the stories might be different but the base reasons listed above still come through.
You know…there is a great lesson to be learned here. These things matter a great deal. When you exemplify these character traits it not only matters but touches others lives deeply.
Some of us think of heroes as giant figures who complete fantastic tasks like Hercules of mythology. In fact heroes surround us everyday. They inspire us, move us and hold us up. Sometimes we don’t even take notice of these un-sung heroes and still they make a difference.
Looking at those traits; who is a hero in your world?
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Posted in Integrity, Passions, Self Awareness, Values, tagged personal core values, personal values, self awareness., taking responsibility, truth, values on August 27, 2011 |
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I have some bad news for some people out there in the world. I suspect they already kind of know about it though. Either way, here goes!
A lot of people want to improve their life through finding balance, affirming who they are, creating their purpose and finding their passions.
Unfortunately a lot of people also want to do this quick and easy. They want a magic pill in the form of that one great workshop, the best-selling book or that one deep and insightful guru who can explain it all.
That’s not going to happen. There! I said it, the bad news it out!
I bet a few of you are wondering why I keep talking about living from your core values or finding your purpose at this point right?
The thing is my friends, you can do all those things you crave but there is no magic pill. You have to do the work, put in some effort and sometimes be willing to risk, fail and try again. Sometimes it’s hard. And that’s okay. This is how we learn what really matters.
I always say I ‘try’ to live and make my life choices from my values. I say ‘try’ because sometimes I falter. I can’t imagine anyone who doesn’t from time to time. How is it possible to have nothing left to learn? Sometimes making choices based on my truth is scary and to be honest I sometimes get myself in some ‘interesting’ situations. Hmmm, even precarious!
So why bother right? Why not live the easier way of conformity and quiet acceptance of what society tells me to think and feel?
Let me explain it this way. If I have a tough situation I have two ways to handle it..kind of like a band-aide that needs to come off. I can live from my personal values and face the music quick and fast like pulling the band-aide off suddenly. Or, I can ignore my values and make poor personal choices like when you slowly pull off the band-aide. In the last way, I prolong the lower level uncomfortable situation; dragging it out unnecessarily causing me a lot more unhappiness and stress. Or like the quick pull I deal with it, face it and then can be peaceful much quicker.
The crappy uncomfortable situation still needs to be dealt with. The difference? When I go to sleep at night I rest easy knowing I have stayed true to myself.
Fight it or embrace it life is going to happen anyway.
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Last post I had a little rant about people and the BS we put ourselves through. You can check that out here.
One the biggest loads of BS I have seen lately is people trying to tell me they don’t have ‘time’.
No time to:
- eat healthy diets
- call friends
- read a book to learn something new
- relax and recharge
- write the book they’ve had burning inside them
- and so on…
You know what I mean right? All those things we ‘say’ we want to do but then use the excuse that we don’t have time.
I call BS on this.
Yes you do. You are choosing to spend your time on other things. You are using this as an excuse.
If I told you that you can get a free all expenses paid 4-day trip to Disneyland you’d find the time I bet! We make time happen for our favourite TV shows don’t we? We MAKE it happen even if that includes recording it and watching it later…we still ‘find’ the time.
If it is important enough that I hear about it from you repeatedly or that you make goals regarding it then you can find or make the time. And yes, if you are client of mine I WILL call you on this and then help you prove it to yourself. What you DO with that it ultimately up to you of course.
Check out my post on how to think about the choices you make regarding time that I wrote previously to help you understand what I mean about choice.
The point it things happen, we might need to readjust or plan it out but there is time. So, either get to it and make the choice to create the time either by using time better, eliminating time wasters or you can decide to continue on using excuses…only now you know them for what they are!
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Posted in Happiness, Integrity, Life Lived Better, Values, tagged authentic, happiness, happy, integrity, Living better, living fabulous, positive thinkers, responsibility, self awareness., taking responsibility on August 20, 2011 |
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This might be a bit of a rant today, but I’ll try to contain myself. lol
I would have never made a good poker player or a spy for that matter. I cannot hide how I feel very well at all. Most of the time I’m thinking that’s a good thing, although it does tend to cause me to get into some trouble now and again. Okay, probably more often than I’d care to admit. ;) To be honest, I’ve come to appreciate that about myself. It helps me maintain my integrity because I just am sucky at not being honest.
The thing is I can’t stand the BS, or games or political correctedness. I really don’t deal well with all that nonsense. I look at that kind of crap as a barrier to living well and living authentically. I also think that we buy into this ‘stuff’ and it is a big, a very big, part of what is wrong in our society. Have we lost our integrity and ability to stand firm?
The worst part? We play these same nonsense cards with ourselves. I have many people who tell me they want to live authentically and perhaps in that moment they really do. But then…well they don’t. It may not even be that they do something opposite of what they believe in…they just do or say nothing.
This isn’t living authentically.
We have to stop being afraid to be wrong in someones eyes. It’s okay if not everyone likes us, agrees with us or approves of us. You know what? BS is still BS even if we all agree on it by not standing up and disagreeing. The truth is still truth if we worry about calling it out and someone else doesn’t like it or it is hard to look at.
- We ignore our money issues instead of facing them and learning to live within what we have and looking the bottom line in the face.
- We accept what others say as gospel instead of asking questions because we want to belong and ‘not rock the boat’
- I’ve seen many people walk by and pretend ‘not to see’ or ‘not to hear’
- To often we think these gurus have it right when they may not even walk the talk they are giving
- We hide our hurt and pain and even our joy
- We often ignore our hearts and guts instead of having faith in our own wisdom
How to live authentically?
Learn who you are. Live it consciously and on purpose.
It isn’t a part-time job you can schedule around the other stuff in your life! I am well aware it’s not always easy in the moment but it will be easier and happier afterwards.
Don’t get me wrong. I slip-up too sometimes, but I strive to make conscious choice so I can be true to me. Sometimes it’s scary, sometimes its really hard and I have to push myself but when I do I usually find two interesting things happen. First, no one usually flips out (I am pretty good at tact I think lol) and often times it seems to open up the gate for others to step forward and be open about how they feel as well. Second, I feel lighter, happier and free. Authentic living truly does bring back to you the peace and happiness we crave.
Live YOU in every moment. Especially the hard ones.
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Waiting for a phone call the other day I got to thinking about some of my goals. It’s about that time of year when I like to check in on how I’m doing and where I’m going. Sometimes I find my goals really don’t serve me anymore or I realize that I need to adjust my sails to get where I’m going.
This wasn’t about that so much. I have been feeling a bit frustrated and blocked in certain areas of my life. I quipped the other day to a friend that I feel like I’m doing 2 steps forward, 5 steps back. I was reflecting on this as it really has been feeling this way.
I realized something though. Two things actually.
First, I had a flash of insight with the fact that the goal may not be the ultimate end result. Perhaps it is the lessons I’m learning along the way that will matter far more in the end.
Second, perhaps the universe is blocking me for a reason. Perhaps it is pulling me backwards in the hopes I will stop and look at a new direction? Could it be that the place I think I am headed isn’t the place I’m meant to be? I noticed in the last little while I’ve felt like I’m searching. I’m not even sure what it is that is missing because I am pretty clear on my purpose and my plan.
I feel like I’m waiting for a sign or a hint but I’m not sure what that could pass as a sign or a hint these days. Change is definitely in the air.
Of course I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…I am perfectly willing to accept a memo, note or even a text from the
This might be nice once in a while lol
universe about this. Never does seem to happen that clearly though.
Have you ever felt this way? What did you do?
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